this post was submitted on 05 Feb 2026
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[–] calliope@piefed.blahaj.zone 13 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

This Onion article was published July 27, 2023.

Unfortunately, Mitch McConnell didn’t have another stroke like he deserves to.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 6 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

How's ol' turtle neck doing anyway? I saw he was hospitalized a couple days ago but haven't heard anything since. I assume if he died it would've made the news.

[–] calliope@piefed.blahaj.zone 7 points 12 hours ago

That’s actually why I looked it up! I was like “oh is he finally going down the drain?”

Not yet. Evil lives longer than good so he seems fine, but we can take comfort in the fact that he isn’t seeking re-election in 2026.

He’s 83, way too old to be a senator. He turns 84 on February 20th and I hope he dies before then.

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 38 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

Why is beth in this screenshot

[–] Honytawk@feddit.nl 19 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

So she can tell us what to think when seeing this image.

Wouldn't want to create our own opinions, now would we?

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 8 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Useless replies being included in screenshots is my biggest meme pet peeve. The useless inclusion is probably from the person who took the screenshot...It's advertising and people willfully spread it

I'm gonna start including DraftKings ads in memes

[–] A7thStone@lemmy.world 2 points 11 hours ago

This response was brought to you by raid shadow legends.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 10 points 16 hours ago

Because who else would have such a clever reaction goddamn.

[–] xodasu@sh.itjust.works 21 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

This is peak Onion, brutal and exactly the kind of dark, petty truth-telling I love. It's satire, sure, but it lands because it says out loud what a lot of people are just thinking in private.

Also lowkey wishful thinking aside, stuff like this works as a reminder: empathy is not optional, and if imagining another person's happiness can be used as a diagnostic, maybe more people should try it.

[–] ThisSeriesIsFalse@lemmy.ca 34 points 19 hours ago (3 children)

...So this guy's a bot, right? Just from looking at their comment history. I'm so sorry if you're not, but you type like ChatGPT.

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 15 points 18 hours ago

Now that you mention it, yes. This is mint ChatGPT phrasing. The only part that’s off is the use of a colon instead of it’s preferred hyphen.

[–] chaotic_disorganizer@lemmy.world 15 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

yeaah, perfect punctuation, no grammar or spelling mkstakes, very eloquent expressions, every comment is two or three paragraphs and the accout is only 4 hours old... smells clanky.

[–] Schmuppes@lemmy.today 6 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I don't understand why. Are Lemmy-accounts worth money like those on Reddit can be?

[–] three@lemmy.zip 4 points 14 hours ago

People that are unpopular in real life compensate by trying to be popular online.

[–] moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 15 hours ago

they were banned, looks like admins agree