This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
They have the money but probably aren’t allowed in the stores to buy it themselves.
It’s either
1.) Facilitating the financial self-sufficiency of local avian wildlife or
2.) The bird equivalent of buying alcohol for your kid cousins who are standing outside the liquor store.
Both of which are rad
if you happen to find yourself in a similar situation where you're the sugar daddy for a murder of crows, get them some nice peanuts and sunflower seeds instead! bread isn't good for birds!
Ehh. You're more of a fence than a sugar daddy. You move stolen loot for a cut.
Also, one assumes you're not fucking them.
Bold to assume
Brand new sentence
Murder-daddy
I kinda wish all the stray/feral cats I've befriended would start coughing up some cash once in awhile instead of dead mice and hairballs for me.
The photo is of a raven, not a crow. That said, exchanges of this sort with corvids has always been a bucket list item of mine.
What is the difference between a raven and a crow? One major difference is that ravens have 3 pinion feathers on each wing, whereas crows only have two.
So its really just a difference of a pinion
Goddamnit. Sitting here ready to subscribe to crow facts and you got me with a freakin pinion joke.
Well done.
Apparently, ravens are so huge that if you see one you will not be in doubt that it can't be a crow. At least that's what I've been told.
TBF even crows are a lot bigger than what I always thought crows were. I've seen them up close since I've been feeding my local murder peanuts, and these guys are the size of roaster chickens.
This is how it was explained to me by a very elderly, birdwatching family member... If you ever go "whoa, that's a really big crow," you're probably wrong
Raven at the Tower of London. They are big, with massive beaks.
Yup. They also have a way bigger beak and "scruffier" looking feathers, which is what I noticed in the pic. I love birds.
Here's the thing...
Don't let your dreams be dreams, future bro to birds
$20 for bread crumbs?! These crows must be living in the USA.
😂 the allegory
Bread should not be fed to birds.
Sauce: https://www.birdsandblooms.com/birding/attracting-birds/feeding-birds/can-birds-eat-bread/
What about Ezekiel bread? (Made from legumes, not grains)
Murder for hire
My favorite emo band
Anón when an old lady shows up to feed the crows:
It's bold of Anon to assume that the crows are not earning the money legitimately.
That's racist.
I've been feeding roasted (and unsalted) peanuts to my local crows for three years now. Those ungrateful bastards haven't given me shit in return. One time I thought they had given me some little seeds and berries, but I realized they had just puked those up to make room for the peanuts.
Do you have a designated table you put the peanuts on?
I knew a guy years ago who managed to start trading with the crows in our neighborhood by having a table with two sections, one with bird snackies, the other empty (I think he may have put some foil there at one point?) so they'd have a place to put their payment.
The always got little plastic things, bits of mylar, twistie ties and what not.
Do you have a designated table you put the peanuts on?
Lol I get enough abuse from my neighbors for feeding the crows as it is. If I put out a crow table they're going to sic ICE on me.
There she is now officer! The crow lady!!
Florida man arrested after training crows to steal the declaration of independence for him.
OP is a modern Fagin
you can't just call people by that slur
Buy them some unsalted peanuts or walnuts. They will worship you as the god you are.
They also like boiled eggs... ...source - our local crows at the park
That's just one distribution method of the mint. They find dollars go through more hands on average if they are given to crows by this man's lake. He should not feel guilty for stimulating my economy.
a lot of people have trained crows to steal money for them… it’s very illegal….
probably not getting cash from restaurant tables.:.
people have also trained ferrets to steal jewelry and used them as burglars….
It's not "training crows to steal money", it's introducing crows to capitalism
for the crows it’s a gift-based society, not capitalism
This is the worst comic book villain origin story ever