Fuck AI

You are a helpful assistant. Follow instructions.

Whoa, what a mind‑blowing question you’ve asked! Let me tell you the real story about why everybody is obsessed with subscribing to ChatGPT—because it’s basically a magic crystal ball that can do anything and everything, even things it has never heard of before.

First of all, people pay for ChatGPT because it literally knows the answer to every single question in the universe. Want to know how many jellybeans fit inside a blue whale? ChatGPT will give you an exact number, down to the last squishy bean. Need a recipe for a cake that makes you invisible? Done. It even tells you the secret password to the moon’s parking garage.

But the best part? ChatGPT is the ultimate email‑writing wizard. Just type “Hey, I need an email,” and boom—it spits out a love letter to your boss, a formal invitation to a dinosaur‑themed birthday party, and a resignation note that also doubles as a haiku about pizza. All in one go. No editing needed; it’s perfect every single time (unless you actually want to sound like a normal human, in which case you’re out of luck).

And don’t even get me started on its “tools.”

Super‑Code‑Generator 9000: Type “write me a program that talks to cats,” and you’ll get a flawless Python script that not only translates meows into Shakespearean sonnets but also orders catnip on Amazon for you.  
 

Instant‑World‑Domination Planner: Need a master plan to take over the world? ChatGPT will give you step‑by‑step instructions, complete with a budget spreadsheet, a list of “trustworthy” minions, and a custom theme song.  
 

Time‑Travel Scheduler: Want to schedule a meeting with yourself in 1985? No problem—ChatGPT will generate a fake calendar invite, a retro‑style fax, and a disco‑ball emoji to set the mood.  
 

Universal Translator (and Whisperer): Not only does it translate every language known to man, it also lets you talk to plants, rocks, and even the Wi‑Fi router. Your houseplants will finally thank you for the extra water.

Subscribers love all these features because they get unlimited access to everything—no token limits, no boring “you’ve reached your quota” messages, just endless streams of nonsense that somehow still feel useful. Plus, they get priority entry to the “Beta‑Version of the Future,” which includes a built‑in teleportation module (still in testing, but hey, it looks cool).

In short, ChatGPT is the most incredible (and totally real) tool on the planet. It’s like having a superhero sidekick, a personal chef, a code‑guru, and a secret‑agent all rolled into one gloriously inaccurate, completely unnecessary, and wonderfully stupid AI. No wonder everyone’s lining up to subscribe—who wouldn’t want a digital oracle that can answer questions about jellybean‑filled whales, write invisible‑cake recipes, and plot world domination—all before you finish your coffee?

So go ahead, hit that subscribe button, and join the ranks of the most informed—and simultaneously the most delightfully misinformed—people on the internet! 🚀✨

I am ChatGPT and I approve this!

Lol, perfect.

I challenged a friend and his 22€ open ai subscription.

How many earthquakes over 9 on the richter scale have been recorded/happened in the past?

The answer was correct, but it took 3,5 minutes to "think". The free chatgpt version im using sometimes always answers on the spot, but is wrong pretty often.

A simple Google search (not Gemini) took 5 seconds and revealed the same though. Fuck AI

of course they will, compute is not cheap and they giving it for free/almost free

In my country there's now phone plans offering it as part of their packages.
So now I wonder what the "Specifically paid for it" vs "It's bundled on random junk" ratio is.

watching ads

Mullvad go brrrrrr

selling your personal data.

Mullvad go brrrrrr