they're welding me into a submarine please help me I didn't do anything they aren't resupplying my oxygen help me I am going to die here please help
this post was submitted on 16 Feb 2026
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Microblog Memes
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I watched Sphere, so I am now a therapist. Shoulda watched Event Horizon second... Then I would have been a spaceship captain ๐ฎโ๐จ
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Err indentured slave in a mine at a terraforming colony in deep space ..
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Having just watched season 2 of Silo, I am not very happy about this.
I'm the leader of an intergalactic scientific expedition to find out what happened to the ancient friendly aliens that used to live there.
Also, I get to move in to their perfectly preserved, super advanced city! It usually just floats on an ocean, but when it really has to, this baby can fly.
I'm spending a lot of time today yelling things like "Tell me where the bomb is!" and "We're running out of time". My wife and daughter have been kidnapped, and the people who I work with may be involved in both.
This is the longest day of my life...
So far. Buddy, I think you have at least 6 more of those long days coming.
I am a Kazakh reporter in America.
Great success!!
Federation Starship Captain.
Nope, wait, I watched The Pitt. I'd be an ER doctor.
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Blood analyst and serial killer
April 1805, Napoleon is now master of Europe.
Only the British fleet stands before him.
Oceans are now battlefields.
Let's gooooo.
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Crap, Iโm a high school student again? (Iโve been re-watching Malcolm in the Middle.)
No wait, this is the season Malcolm starts to work at Lucky Aide. So Iโm a high school student and a minimum-wage, part-time drug store employee. Great.
Head of a bunch of MI5 reprobates.
....fuck, I really don't want to go back in time 117 times to hold up a diner with a bomb looking for the perfect group of normies to volunteer to save the future world from the dangers of AI.
Shit sounds mentally exhausting and emotionally draining.
A supercilious British Secret Agent, tossing off bad one-liners, at women who should have really stayed away.
Arcane. Best case scientist councilman. Worst case undercity brawler, a psychotic terrorist or a cop.
In remembrance of Catherine O'Hara we're rewatching Schitt's Creek. So... am I unemployed?
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Oh my God. What the hell. I can't command a starship. OH MY GOD IS THAT THE BORG!
Yay im a princess. Unfortunately im being tortured
With delicious food and new friends?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%27Tis_Time_for_%22Torture,%22_Princess
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Im watching Bear in the Big Blue House with my daughter right now so...Im ok with this. Looks like a comfy place.
Sweet!! Iโm going to attend Starfleet Academy!!
Oh fuck, I have to run from mercenaries while being recorded the whole time. Although, I might get a billion dollars if the month treats me well
(The Running Man 2025)
Viking, hell yes
Life explorer prostitute doctor (Poor Things)
Starfleet Cadet.
Not bad... Assuming it's in the 32nd century... Otherwise kind of hard to do in the 21st.
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I am a therapist whose wife died a year ago, and I am crawling my way back into being a functional person again.
Eh, hotelier and a Princess of Hell, I guess.
I am a high school teacher at an all monster girls school now.