Cool turts don't look at explosions!
Also, she prob isn't scared of the fire, she is running away from that sus Mario-looking pipe over there! Run!!
this post was submitted on 16 Feb 2026
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My wife got one of these tortoises. It was so cute 8 years ago. Now it fucking 60lbs and growing! Don't get one of these without looking them up first. My favorite line from the care sheet. It says, if you don't mind mucking up after a pony....
And will probably live longer than you.
Frankly an average tortoise has a good chance of outliving your grandchildren.
150 years is not an unreasonable upper bound for their lifespan, for the larger species.
And up to 200lbs if a male, and ours is a male.
It's an African spurred or Sulcata of anyone is still interested.
Scrambling?
Unmute to hear the tortoise cursing
Strong shell and feets for marching!