Imagine the friction burns
this post was submitted on 18 Feb 2026
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Are they taking his word for it or did somebody watch to verify?
I'd be afraid my dick would explode
He could have easily hit 80 if he was drinking C4.
Implying he would use lotion instead of lube. Fucking amateurs. If you're a frequent wanker and you haven't graduated to real fuckin lube then you're a bit of a joke.
I only feel sorry for the Guinness World Record judge
I just imagine them being very clinical about it. Just standing there with a clicker in one hand and a timer in the other.
Yet 48hrs before the 'event' at Guiness HQ
"Wait a minute, sir, I have to call my boss. Walter, do we count dry orgasms?"
there gotta be smell/texture/viscosity standards for the judges to know what counts
You gotta at least wear eye protection.
Professional wankers switch hands every five minutes. It helps to rest each arm each session.
That's a gooner move, resets the clock so you can go longer
This man was specifically not gooning, gooning is about lasting as long as you can.
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In west Philadelphia born and raised…
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there's a whole train of women masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
y'all should try to break the record.
Collectively they may have
That's one jerk every 9 minutes.
I can only imagine the pain in their balls and arm they must've felt after a while.
Their prostate must have looked like a dehydrated pumpkin
This pumpkin looks how I feel
Their dick probably didn't look much better. Even with lube that's gonna chaff after awhile and probably took off at least a layer of skin
I'm pretty sure 36 cans of Red Bull would kill you. Humans can't handle that much caffeine.
Can't find the Death by Caffeine site (or they changed it) any more, but this one says 5 Red Bulls max per day for a 175lb person.
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Fake. 36 red bulls would literally kill a horse, let alone a human, even if they weighed as much as a horse.
Horses die from the dumbest shit tho
Lol, can't their stomach's like literally flip upside down and fuck everything up?
I don't know about horses, but this can happen to dogs. The condition is called GDV. It happens without warning, and the only options are emergency surgery (gastropexy) or euthanasia.
PSA: A gastropexy is MUCH cheaper when done preventatively vs. on an emergency basis. If you get a puppy that is a deep-chested breed, get a gastropexy when spaying/neutering.
The emergency surgery for my senior retriever mix was $6k+ and a rough (for both of us tbh) recovery. I've known others who have lost their beloved dogs to GDV. It sucks
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“…after the previous holder died from his last attempt.”
He died doing what he loved…
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don't they send someone over to watch you break the record
Not just one but a bunch of nuts cum over.
The arch-gooner
I know a challenging fap when I see one
How do they measure an orgasm?
Multiple judges must be present and observing closely. They are experts in distinguishing moans
He must have very soft hands, I'm usually chafed after 6.
omg they could split this record into two categories - with lube/lotion or without.
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