Install Graphene on it lol
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Graphene Devs: We can’t support it because it doesn’t have a Titan M Chip blah blah blah
Please keep buying our jets bro
We spent $1 trillion to make them bro, we need these to work bro
We'll iron out all he bugs, trust us bro
It's the best jet ever made bro, it's killed so many Palestinians and Iranians bro
I'm still waiting for them to use the F-35 against an actual competent adversary with an actual airforce, but I think the only possibility would be China.
Maybe Pakistan if India buys the F-35, but even they know its a Lockheed money scam.
The racist sack of shit, Hegseth, will have his sick fucknut friend, Doug Wilson (Christian Nationalist), bless each F-35. I hope one of you posts the Pentagon Prayer service given by the fucking lunatics.
If I had the F-35 in my inventory, I would hire a bunch of hackers to prepare the aircraft's software for the just in case moment.
If you can jailbreak it, Tuinman, Vlad can jailbreak it.
The only thing that is certain, is that the logistics chain of the F-35 can easily break down. It is best for the EU to rely on a chain that is fully within their custody.
Upon hearing this news I ordered a F-35 from Ali Express but they sent me a J-35 instead. Does the jailbreak still work on this device or am I stuck with the stock software? What's the character for landing gear again?
I don't want to be the guy to tell my boss I've bricked the F-35
Yeah... Fighter jets don't really get bricked.
A brick is when you've messed something up to the point where the hardware doesn't boot and the only possible solution would be to pull out a rom chip and replace it with one with factory settings, but that's too hard and not worth doing.
But that's the thing, with the F-35, it'll never be not worth doing. It could be a $5000 setback... But whatever.
Even broke the warranty seal over the USB port.
Yeah, that's not a job I'd be comfortable doing.
I didn't know our state secretary was a Warthunder enthousiast.
imagine flying a jailbroken fighter plane that gets an over-the-air update that bricks the controls
just get the gripen
"ATTENTION! Your jet has been hacked by MilitaryGod Tech Team[LOL]. Your radios and controls have been disabled. Do not attempt to eject. Please send 10 bitcoin to wallet 214d93120cd3192ea019ab03928f1fa03 immediately to unlock your controls. If we do not receive payment in 15 minutes, all weapons onboard will be launched at nearby friendly targets. Thank you for your prompt attention to this urgent matter. Have a nice day!"
Something tells me fighter planes don’t get updates from anything other than a computer plugged directly into them.
In production since 2006 and of course they were designing the things earlier than that, so....
Wouldn't be surprised if it's like some cars of the late 90's and early 00's and you need a computer with an RS-232 port to connect to a multiplexer of some sort that connects to the plane
E.g to get full dealer level access to old Mercedes cars, you'd need one of these:

And a laptop with RS-232 running Windows XP (can be on a VM)
That would seem like an awful idea that would be a dangerous security risk to the fighter.
So they probably did it anyway.
Well, let me be the one to surprise you and tell you that this is exactly how software and encryption keys are loaded onto the aircraft.
At no time would any combat aircraft have an operating system which even has the capability to receive software updates wirelessly, that would be an incredible vulnerability during wartime.
It requires a specific device that looks like it was made in the 1980s and deletes itself if it is bumped too hard and this device has to be directly connected to NSA controlled infrastructure in order to be loaded with any updates. The resulting material is loaded onto the device and physically carried by an Airman in the wing's comm squadron and they are escorted by at least one other service member from the secure terminal where it was loaded directly to the aircraft.
It's uploaded via internal connections (which may or may not look to be from the 80s) which are accessed by a maintenance hatch on the belly of the plane. Once the hatch is closed, if it is opened again at any point the aircraft will dump all of the key material and the resulting party will have a lot of paperwork and counseling to deal with and some other set of airmen will have to repeat the entire process all over again.
This has to be done for pretty much every flight, the aircraft cannot even start without this package of key materials and software. This process is fairly standard and used on a lot of equipment, as most equipment needs keying materials to function due to all of the datalink and/or telemetry systems.
It is likely that the Secretary of Defense was referring to their understanding of how this system operates and how they have scientists and engineers and the resources to reverse engineer any components. They have intact and working copies that they can tear apart and none of these systems are magic, they're just secret and obtaining an intact war plane to reverse engineer is incredibly difficult in normal times. The Dutch have plenty of intact war planes to study.
tbf, that can happen without jailbreaking
What about replacement parts? Just cut your losses & get something not made by fascists.
Next F35-frimware-dump on Piratebay:
[ RELEASE INFORMATION ]
-------------------------------------------------------------------
NAME......: F-35_Series_FW_Utility
VERSION...: v2.4.0-OPEN
DATE......: 2026-05-04
PLATFORM..: Embedded Linux / RTOS
TYPE......: Firmware Dump & Tools
SIZE .....: 14.2 GB (840x50MB)
ORIGIN....: Internal Flash (SPI/NAND)
[ DESCRIPTION ]
-------------------------------------------------------------------
This package contains a jailbreaked binary dump of the flight
controller. Included are scripts for:
* Hex-signature verification
* Partition table analysis
* File system extraction and flashing
[ INSTALLATION / USAGE ]
-------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Ensure your Fighter jet is in USB-Debugging mode.
2. Run 'python3 F35_jailbreak_flash.py --check-signatures'
3. Take Off
CAUTION: Modifying firmware can result in a bricked device
or "Fly-Away" scenarios. Use at your own risk.
[ GREETS ]
-------------------------------------------------------------------
To the researchers, the tinkerer community, and all those
who believe in the right to repair and modify their hardware.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
"Information wants to be free."```
You wouldn't download a ~~car~~ fighter jet's custom firmware
I was picturing more like a custom ROM on XDA: "Bugs? You tell me."
Flashing failed 5 minutes in, and now an upside down jet with a big yellow ! coming out of the belly is on the screen. Did I brick my F-35 or is it recoverable?
Depends on your altitude..
Help, how do I unlock the bootloader
During startup, press the fire missile and eject buttons at the same time for 20 seconds
What??? In earlier versions, we had to lift a couple of legs on the chips, a 50cm bodge wire, and finally shorting a capacitor while booting. Finally the write protection disabled, which allowed one to flash an older BIOS that allowed usb booting. The major downside was that it was a tethered jailbreak. But we made it work…except for the fly-aways.
I'm having issues with this step, I can't seem to hold the eject button for the full 20 seconds I keep getting forcefully ejected to the boot screen.
Can it run doom?
In the most literal sense.

Right to repair my F-35!
Rolls Royce only makes the engines for the F35B STOVL version.
Ummm not completely correct. They make a part for that, but it’s still an f135 engine.
And here I thought the military would want their stuff to work without software updates and be open source.
The military wants the best equipment, and currently in terms of specs that is the F-35.
That comes with a dependence on the United States, which at the time of purchasing these jets was not considered to be a particular concern because America is a good ally and a part of NATO.
Following Trump's re-election and antics over Greenland, that calculation is now different. It might not be worth it to buy new F-35s at this point (though Germany seems to be considering it still), but the Dutch army has pre-existing F-35s which we should be able to use even if America doesn't want us to for whatever reason.
At this point for the purchase of new jets we really should be looking at the new Eurofighter though, imo
Nah bro. Just run clawedbot on the thing and sell the compute on it. Imagine a server farm made of f35s making the most devastating memes with gemini bananas