Imagine fumbling so hard that you don't get with a girl who is so into you that she wants you around while she's dying of cancer.
this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2026
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Ngl I thought this was going to be a really fucked up greentext as soon as I read the word "cancer".
This anon's alright!
And not exactly alt-right!
Nice one! Take an updoot!
I gotta admit, I like wholesome greentexts
Wholesome? Or mushy?
Gay: didn't wish for a blowjob, fake: she probably thinks of him too.
My ex from 16 years ago (16 year olds) wished me happy birthday the other week. Was weird we're both married with kids and never speak at all
She’s DTF
(Doing The Friendship)
Weird but sweet anyway
Yeah just way outta the blue, now the real question is so I have to remember hers now? Cause I don't think i do haha
If you want to, ask her and put it in your calendar! It's always nice to know someone remembers you fondly enough to send well wishes 😊
Yeah, this is great advice. It's unfortunate when pressure to do social niceties holds you back from enjoying meaningful connection with people. Some people are better at remembering dates than others, and caring enough to ask (and put it in one's calendar) is at least as powerful a gesture as actually remembering it.
OP could take a jokey tone to things, such as by expressing surprise that she was able to remember, and then asking what her birthday is
why is it weird? I do that too.
Because you're weird
Because you’re weird
i learn nothing from this
You weren't supposed to because it's a joke.
Fake: anon had a girlfriend
Gay: anon had dated someone who had sex with a man
I seriously don't get what's fun about this nihilism and gay-shaming.
It's just a running joke for greentexts to call them "fake and gay", which became having to come up with some justification to attach both labels to the story instead of just saying it is. This is completely regardless of what the greentext actually consists of.
The more you have to stretch to make the labels fit, the funnier it is.
Yeah, and I find it funny precisely because of the stretching to make the labels — it makes it feel like it's making fun of people who would unironically call things fake and gay in a manner that was nihilistic and homophobic.
It's similar to how I hate the "git gud" gatekeeping that can be quite prominent amongst fans of games like Dark Souls. However, I take great joy in saying "git gud" in a context where it's patently absurd, like when my housemate arrives home completely drenched from torrential rain. It turns the joke back on the gatekeepy rhetoric
"Sorry Im late, the bridge collapsed and I had to take an alternate route"
"Skill issue tbh"
I used to behave this way, but people took me seriously every time. Like saying Veterans should die off, because they are no longer of use (as criticism to our way of seeing humans as expendable) and I became very hated for this.
Genuine question.
Can you see how that is not an obvious absurdist extreme and just sounds like an extreme position that would upset people?
I was not an adult, and rather troubled. I coped in very poor ways.
Ok. Well recognition is a huge hill to overcome. But coping with humor isn't always bad, communication is a skill that comes with and requires practice.
I hope you find out how to be you while not feeling like you are pushing people away.
At this point, I don't even have a choice. I explicitly limited myself to not making new friends, no dating, no sex, and very limited interaction outside of a certain framework. Not only can I not trust myself with humor and reasoning, but humans have also become way too predatory for my taste as of late, so I want to limit my interaction with them in general (I'm working towards having my own food, water, repairing my own stuff, it's all planned).
I deleted PayPal after it's privacy issue, and I have local LLM's on my devices. I am also not buying new devices anymore (Have a 2013 Laptop, a new phone and tablet).
It's a mixture of humans don't deserve me, and I don't (and can't) deserve humans. It's also a final decision, I had way too many negative experiences throughout the years, including getting screwed out of medical assistance that I legally have a right to, and being used. So, I am 100% done, we are simply incompatible.
I did not expect anything wholesome from this c/...
fug where is the funny!?! 😭
Surprisingly touching, thanks for sharing
Thank you, Anon.
Fuck man, i was not ready
Can confirm. Am bassist for Northstar.