He had ONE reason. One very good reason. (He was gay af)
this post was submitted on 10 Mar 2026
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What does God need with a butthole?
What a horrible time to be literate
- They're really getting their money's worth out of that "portal to the __ dimension" handwave, aren't they?
- Why would you share such an accursed thing?
Knowledge is for sharing. :)
We have the technology to implant a soft serve machine by now I guess.
0th Commandment: Everybody Poops. Everybody.
How else is he supposed to get rid of waste from eating sacrifices?
Well...
He may have had a semi-legitimate reason.
Exodus 33:17-23:
17 The Lord said to Moses, “I will also do this thing of which you have spoken; for you have found favor in My sight and I have known you by name.”
18 Then Moses said, “Please, show me Your glory!”
19 And He said, “I Myself will make all My goodness pass before you, and will proclaim the name of the Lord before you; and I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show compassion to whom I will show compassion.”
20 He further said, “You cannot see My face, for mankind shall not see Me and live!”
21 Then the Lord said, “Behold, there is a place [j]by Me, and you shall stand there on the rock;
22 and it will come about, while My glory is passing by, that I will put you in the cleft of the rock and cover you with My hand until I have passed by.
23 Then I will take My hand away and you shall see My back, but My face shall not be seen.”
So basically, God's face is too ... glorious, for mortal minds to perceive, but his back, his rear?
Evidently safe for mortal eyes, and the only part of God that Moses ever actually directly saw.
(Well, other than his burning bush.)
The literal next verse is God instructing Moses to make two tablets, after he broke the first set due to being enraged by the Israelites constructing and worshipping a golden statue of a bull.
So yeah, God basically reveals his rear to Moses, right before the second version of the Ten Commandments are inscribed.
Oh and just if you're curious, those Ten Commandments v2.0 here are basically:
-
Do not make any agreements with any other people group in Canaan.
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Destroy all their religious sites and idols, partake in none of their feasts or rituals, do not intermarry with them.
But why, you may ask?
14 —for you shall not worship any other god, because the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God
Because God is a jealous God whose name is literally Jealous.
-
Do not make any metal idols to worship as Gods.
-
Keep the feast of unleavened bread (Passover).
-
All your firstborn children belong to me, all your firstborn livestock (sheep and donkey specifically) belong to me, as a sacrifice.
-
No working the fields on the 7th day of the week (Sabbath).
-
If all the male Israelities appear before me 3 times a year, I will drive every other Canaanite out of Canaan and no one will covet the land.
(My own interpretation of this is a tri-annual, full conscription, military campaign)
-
No blood/animal sacrifice is to accompany the Passover, and you must eat all the bread before the morning.
-
Bring the first harvest of your fields to the Temple.
-
Do not boil a young goat in its mother's milk.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+34&version=NASB
Yeah.
I uh... swear to God that I am not making that last one up.
That's the... second version of the Ten Commandments.
Would you imagine that most Christians do not read their Bible?
Now you see that’s the kind of bible study I can get => behind <=.
So god is pap psappasy jealous bitch like "Aw hun you know I'm too dapng hot pans outta your league but I'll show you a lil booty papi you know what you're missing, and don't be seeing any other ho."
fucking internet people when they see an absolutely normal ass…
….
btw juice is the absolute last thing i want coming out of thicc ass
They're not saying they want juice coming out of an ass when they call an ass juicy... It's meant to describe something that looks appetizing, like a juicy grape...
And that ass is very defined/toned, I would not classify that as an "absolutely normal ass." I don't think it's thicc, per se, but it is a very attractive butt (and I say that as a straight guy). I do agree "thicc" is highly overused, as it should be describing something or someone that is actually a bit fatty/curvy/voluptuous, versus an athletically toned piece of anatomy.
i jest, kind sir
Considering what usually comes out of an ass, juice would be a nice change of pace.
ass juice sounds messier to me
It's like eating a mango, the mess is part of the enjoyment.
Religious painters and sculptors just have a thing for sexy men I guess.
mf is a straight thirst trap
I appreciate that the new one is still sexy Lucifer, but there are chains now so I guess you're supposed to know he is bad?
Oh I bet he's real bad 🥵
Lil' subby Satan.
So I'm aware that he painted a lot of nude men, and that they were later covered up. I wonder if this is one of those
He also didn't have to make him fucken yoked.
I know right? It's pretty obvious the dude is just chillin 24/7 not doing shit about anything.
Afaik, the reason was that he didn't like the pope.
Or liked the pope a lot.
Get some shoes on, no shoes no service you fucking hippy
Oh God