this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2026
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Can you guys suggest some reliable and secure selfhosted IM service? I'm kinda in a very bad spot right now, so any centralized messaging wouldn't really work. And yeah, state sponsored mass surveillance is a question of concern. Sorry for odd phrasing, just really at a loss.

I heard of matrix, XMPP (heard good things about snikket.org), SimpleX and even some IRC wizardry over TOR. And I actually tried matrix (synapse server), but found it not reliable enough - sometimes skips a notification, periodic troubles with logging in, weird lack of voice calls on mobile client, and some other irritating, tiny hiccups. I'm open to any suggestion, really, even open to trying matrix once again. Just, please, describe why you think one option is better than the other.

And just FYI, use case is simply texting with friends and family, while avoiding state monitoring. Nothing nefarious

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[–] ServeTheBeam@lemmy.world 4 points 42 minutes ago* (last edited 38 minutes ago)

Gamers Nexus posted a video recently about Discord alternatives.

https://youtu.be/kpjcmXbmMVM

[–] poVoq@slrpnk.net 2 points 35 minutes ago

Well, I think XMPP or Snikket is worth a try and definitely more reliable than Matrix, but you might also want to look at DeltaChat.

[–] suzune@ani.social 1 points 47 seconds ago

There is probably something wrong with your setup, if Synapse has these problems.

I've been running Synapse for years, including voice/videocalls and even video conferences.

[–] elperronegro@lemmy.world 1 points 4 minutes ago

Try Delta chat (chatmail server)

[–] medem@lemmy.wtf 5 points 1 hour ago

Prosody (XMPP server). Setup takes an hour at most even if you have never worked with Lua. Easy to interact with (it has a built-in shell), easy on system resources, and easy-to-understand config. Support for groups, E2EE, attachments including videos and voice recordings, among others.