this post was submitted on 17 Mar 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 27 comments
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[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 1 points 15 minutes ago

They come from clams, like pearls

[–] mouse@piefed.world 6 points 10 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip -2 points 7 hours ago

Most likely some disgusting American junk-food. As you know, every post always defaults to there. No other people in the world speak English 😁

[–] Zier@fedia.io 7 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

They come from pregnant semi-trucks. The truck pulls up to a birthing port at a Supermarket when it's time. Then highly skilled Supermarket staff peel away the brown protective cover and place the baby cheezits on a shelf for you to adopt.

[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 2 points 11 hours ago

That actually makes them sound cute.

[–] RickeySpanish@lemmus.org 18 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

They come from a vine like corn

[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 5 points 16 hours ago

What can I get Cheezits on the cob?

[–] Paranoidfactoid@lemmy.world 6 points 15 hours ago
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

They're made with real cheese; but they never tell you that it's fromunda cheese.

[–] mouse@piefed.world 4 points 10 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Cheese fromunda deez nuts.

[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 3 points 8 hours ago
[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 5 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

You even seen an old school ice machine? They run water over a cold waffle-looking plate, it freezes, and then the ice on the waffle falls and breaks into little squares.

Cheezits are made in machines like that. Liquid cheezit runs over the waffle, solidifies, falls off and breaks into little squares. The liquid itself is milked straight from domesticated cheezit emus. Ten to fifteen men die each year milking the emus to deliver the fresh taste of Cheezit to you.

[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 3 points 14 hours ago
[–] erusuoyera@sh.itjust.works 9 points 17 hours ago

They're a legume. They grow in pods.

[–] The_Lurker@lemmy.world 7 points 17 hours ago

They're a type of algae. They're crunchy because they're pressed into mats, dehydrated, seasoned, and baked. Surprisingly, the orange color is completely natural. Toxic if ingested over long periods, but natural.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 7 points 17 hours ago

They're paint scrapings from old red barns, that have been sunbleached orange. Gotta love that old lead taste 👍

[–] JetpackJackson@feddit.org 4 points 15 hours ago

It's actually tree bark! Very few people know that though

[–] Triumph@fedia.io 5 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

They use nets to collect them from the sea. Make sure your cheezits are dolphin safe.

[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 3 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

Then how come in the Duoz boxes, they mix both the freshwater cheezits and the saltwater cheezits?

[–] Triumph@fedia.io 4 points 16 hours ago

Freshwater cheezits are line caught, making them more costly to produce. The net caught ones are cheaper.

I think you can find "all freshwater" cheezits, but they're going to be more expensive.

[–] Ioughttamow@fedia.io 3 points 16 hours ago

Brackish cheezits?

[–] homes@piefed.world 5 points 17 hours ago

They are dandruff, from a unicorn

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 17 hours ago

cheezits are squeezits out of zeetits

[–] HeartyOfGlass@piefed.social 4 points 17 hours ago

I get mine from the store

[–] JakoJakoJako13@piefed.social 4 points 17 hours ago

Frozen milk from meteorites is unfrozen then pulverized to a cream and then baked with pure potato extract.

[–] DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth 2 points 15 hours ago

They grow like wheat Have you never seen a Cheeze-it thresher?