Yet another in a long series of examples of why I never wanted kids.
this post was submitted on 20 Mar 2026
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You do know that odd stuff happening kind of makes life worth living? This is a mild inconvenience in the moment but a story to tell and laugh about for decades. This is net positive by miles and miles.
Aldo the clap back of having your kid ’find to he càñ’ and deal with the result ... 🤣
Well little Timmy, since you were SO thoughtful taking the labels out of the cans, you are going to play canned flood roulette for the next week. This means, for an entire week you pick one can at random for your dinner, and you are not allowed to have another food outside of what the can offers. In the meanwhile, the rest of us will eat your favorite things in front of you, while you are in your sad corner eating your can of food. Me and your mother are going to place bets to see how long your spirit lasts. Let the games begin
And then they'll wonder why he wants nothing to do with them as an adult and why they never get to see their grandchildren and then eventually why no one visits them in their nursing home and why they die alone.
My friend's parents tried this sort of punishment mindset with him when it was a kid. He ended up grounded with increasingly draconian punishments for roughly five years because of the shockingly impressive stubbornness of all people involved until they "gave up on him" after 7th grade (yes, this literally started when he was a 2nd grader). He ended up moving out on his own at 16 and dropping out of school and didn't really have a relationship with them for a good decade and a half.
I don't really have any words of wisdom from this other than never underestimate a person's ability to defy logic. It just ended up ruining the whole family's experience for a long, long time.
Edit: I did just remember something "funny" about the whole thing. My friend didn't really know how to, or enjoy, doing a lot of things that pretty much all kids did because of his seemingly eternal grounding. And he was quite literally the palest person I have ever known because he only went outside to get on the bus for school. His parents turned him into some sort of cave person lol
it did not start when you said it started probably
Is your friend Butters Stotch?
My parents attempted that with me, not the can-roulette part, but I was a picky eater, so in order to get me to eat new foods and expand my palate, they would give me food and say, you're not having anything but that. You're sitting at the table till it's done. While they ate food that I definitely did like.
They ended up giving up on it because I would sit at the table for hours on end and even sleep at the table. And due to the fact that I don't feel hunger until im basically almost fainting, I would basically put myself on the brink of feeling faint, which concerned them.
I'm no longer extremely picky. I'm still picky, but no longer to the extreme extent that I used to be.
That's an entirely different situation though. Picky eater is more of a clinical issue. And brute forcing such things never works. Kid being an asshole however, well that, that we can fix reverse assholianism.
Lol.
Guess what "kid" is having for dinner for the next month?
"How should I know? You ripped all them labels off, you tell me?"
Fun to imagine but not realistic in real world.
Beans, and uh beans?
I never understood being grounded. When I was a kid, we just snuck out anyway because what are they gonna do, super ground us?
For me at least, being grounded was the preferable alternative to having my ass beaten physically off my body with the nearest leather belt or wooden implement. I can serve my time and be free afterward, or I can make things worse for everyone involved, and still be grounded but also be physically harmed while I'm grounded.
Was this good and right? Hell if I know, man. It feels like a fundamental disrespect of someone's human rights, but also, I was ten, and it succeeded in teaching me to be less of an incorrigible little fucker.
It was wrong and there were other ways to get you to be less of an incorrigible little fucker that wouldn’t have hurt you so much.
Guess it’s supper roulette time! Kid even gets to choose the can!
- Why is the casserole so dry? Well the cream of mushroom soup turned out to be garbanzo beans.
- Why are the nachos so soggy? The refried beans turned out to be coconut milk.
- Oh boy! Spaghetti with progresso and meatballs.
- And for dessert? Mmmm, baked bean upside down cake!
This is an excellent idea. Now, not only as a kid eating crappy food. The entire family is annoyed with the kid. This is a win-win
It’s not a war crime if they’re not prisoners of war. 🤭
And most importantly: it’s never a war crime the first time
Nah that makes the whole family suffer. I don't have to eat pineapple lasagna just because the kid acted like a brat
Pineapple and lasagna? I bet there is a way to make it work
Idk if I knew this was the outcome of my sibling doing this I’d be fully on board just to mess with them and teach them the lesson lol.
But everyone is different ofc
Honestly, we're going to see this kid on a dateline special and the psychiatrist will spout off some name in Latin for this disorder.
Mah fookin beans mate
Can lottery!