this post was submitted on 22 Mar 2026
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Dad Jokes

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This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

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[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 69 points 2 months ago

I can talk to my cat. She's in my lap right now, watch. See? I just asked her if her butt is grey and she looked at me like I'm an idiot.

She's right, I'm an idiot. Interspecies communication achieved.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 57 points 2 months ago (3 children)

God, just dump this bitch. Any guy who has a strong bond with a cat, and enjoys hanging out with their cat isn't the one who's the problem.

If anything, she should be bonding with the cat too. This is why she's not allowed on the couch.

[–] MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

I'm a guy that definitely bonds with my cat/s.

Our current baby was adopted from a shelter. And she certainly was most friendly with me. But, wouldn't sit on laps.

Almost exactly a year into being with us, my GF sent me a Pic of our sweet lady sitting on my GF's lap. I was jealous.

However, now, it's almost exclusively my lap as the choice. Yay!

[–] Wolf314159@startrek.website -4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

There's a lot to unpack there bud. You don't sound okay. None of that was in the comic, you brought all that baggage.

[–] kieron115@startrek.website 15 points 2 months ago

“This is why she’s not allowed on the couch” says joke to me idk.

[–] ripcord@lemmy.world -5 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's a comic community, not a church.

[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I know which is why this guy's post seems pretty unbalanced mentally

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

you're reading way too much into his comment. just vibe with it dude.

[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago
[–] desiccated_event@piefed.blahaj.zone 42 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] 64bithero@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

In fact the cat is very right !

[–] thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 months ago

It's absolutely right!

[–] 64bithero@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] Una@europe.pub 17 points 2 months ago (4 children)
[–] Themosthighstrange@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

I know right :3

[–] Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 months ago

How dare you say that about OP's mother!

[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] merde@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (3 children)

FOUR cats? That's too many cats. The order of progression goes:

0 cats - you need a cat in your life.

1 cat - your cat needs a cat buddy.

2 cats - this is the optimal number of cats.

3 cats - Yeah, a bit crowded. You can make it work though. Like if one of your cats is really old, and the other cat is a kitten. That's like a backup cat. Otherwise, you're approaching too many cats.

4 cats - that's too many cats.

5 cats - please stop collecting cats.

6 cats - PLEASE stop collecting cats!!!

7 cats - KNOCK IT OFF ASSHOLE!!!

8 cats - now you're just a crazy cat lady.

I have 1 cat. She does not get along with other cats, so I have 1 cat. She's about to climb into my lap again. There. Nice and difficult to type now, just the way she likes it.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

9 cats overflow gotta start getting more cats again

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I agree, and so do The Fabulous Staredycat Sisters 😁

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

AAAAAAHHHH!!!! The one in front looks just like my old cat speed!!!!

Awwwwww, I miss speed and karmalee!!!!

If you want to read a post I made about speed, just check my post history for one titled "My cat was a coward but I still loved her".

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 1 points 2 months ago

cat /etc/how/can.she

[–] wowwoweowza@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (4 children)

It should be: “I know, right?” Commas remain useful.

Brought to you by the international committee for the preservation of the comma.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Hey man my sister was in a comma be respectful

[–] thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 months ago

"Comas can completely change the meaning of a sentence. "My partner is pretty" vs "My partner is in a coma""

[–] Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

My wife is in a polycule and she acts like I'm a moron whenever I ask her what that is. I think it is something like a European comma.

Hardly ever see her these days.

[–] Steve@communick.news 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I know. It actively aggravates me when people don't use any punctuation. Written English is poor enough already at conveying tone and emotion. Stop making it worse.

[–] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 2 weeks ago

yes i totally agree

i cant even think of anything worse

[–] wowwoweowza@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

English offers 500k words… if we are lacking tonal expression, I’m included to believe it’s us and not the idiom.

[–] Steve@communick.news 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Of course it's us.
It's us, with our our shitty punctuation habits.

[–] wowwoweowza@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

It’s also autocorrect and laziness… I meant inclined… but somehow included was left. Ergh. I think they are counting ergh in the 500K.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

it can be, anything, that we, want. because, he, showed us, how to be, high as, a, kite.

fuck,so high

[–] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 2 points 2 months ago
[–] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 weeks ago

I know left