I feel seen
this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2026
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Ah shit. Sorry, I was stabbing someone. Guess I don’t get that coffee. 😔
If you're stabbing a bad guy then you're still eligible for the coffee.
Everybody who stabs people thinks they're the bad guys.
I stabbed myself so I don't actually get to pedantically ask whether it is the stabber or stabee that is considered the baddie :(
Does your uniform have skulls on it?
schrödinger's baddie
Usually when I do that it's more like who's the klutz.
thank you. this gave me the motivation I needed to stop scrolling on my phone in bed and to instead scroll on my phone from the can
with coffee
Ya can't stop progress!
(and by progress, we meant substance dependency)
I can stop anytime I want!
...my happiness is just dependent on me not wanting that.
Thanks. I'm drinking my first beer to celebrate not stabbing anyone yet today.
Can I at least stab someone a little bit?
Isn’t being stabbed a binary condition? Like being pregnant. You’re either stabbed or you’re not.
It did say "probably"! I think that's your loophole. Just pick a "Vic #1" type target.
(As in whodunnits where everyone has a motive to kill THAT guy)
I don't drink coffee. What alternative rewards are available to me for being kinda awake & reading words & not stabbing anyone?
Tea?
Chocolate
Aah yes chocolate is a lovely reward for not stabbing anyone.
Also a good preventative.
I'm all out of chocolate and I've got a plethora of knives. *Opens used knife stand. $2 Dollar knives or a chocolate bar!
As a coffee preferer myself, I think if you have tea you'd be allowed a compensatory biscuit.
Apollo teasing just the tip.
Then stabbing your fucking eyeballs while trying to get coffee.
Thank you Maxxus, it's been a long night and you just made facing the day worthwhile
Phew, thanks for reminding me that I need to go stab some people today! And thanks for the coffee; helps me stab better!
Roberto?
I would prefer a nice cup of black tea instead please
You know what? I do deserve a coffee.
What about second coffee?
Way ahead of you with that coffee.
Look how EFFICIENT you are!
Thank you, now I really feel seen
I’m not stabbing anyone righ now! Maybe I am a good person! I am slicing someone right now but that isn’t a stab!
Thanks, I do deserve another coffee.
Quick, before you reach for the knives!
Don't mind if I do. ☕😌
I was just thinking about that.
This sounds like a quote from Disco Elysium, so now I got this image in my head, which I will share.
sounds kinda like something exurb1a would say
hope that dood in ikebukuro doesnt read this tonight... too late little sunbeam