Not gonna lie, I had to read that twice to make sure I wasnβt dreaming π
this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2026
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I am so tired of political spam texts. Now they're political spam sexts.
When others go low I get high with the obamas
Yes
Hit it and STOP it
At least there would be more eye witnesses to help debunk Joan Riversβ conspiracy theory.
Seeing Michelle dancing to that Bruno Mars song on the Ellen show was, um, nuts.
Do not accept, he only offers 420 do not accept anything less than 69420
Wait, he offered you 69420? I got offered 42069, and took it because it seemed like a pretty good deal. Now I have ragrets.
Depends on the use case. If thousands get separated, 69,420 looks nicer. If you want a port number, only 42069 is valid.
Y'all think you're gonna bang Michelle while Barack watches but it's really gonna be Barack banging YOU while Michelle watches.
In this room with two dicks, I'm not the one with two holes...
"I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream"
Is that really so bad?
No. In fact, that makes it better imo.
yes!
Do you think you could perform in front of either of the Obamas? I know I couldn't.
I'll whisper right in Obama's ear as I cream on his back "this is how you dispose of bus loads of kids," then I'd smack the back of his head.
This is both the best and disturbing thing I've read in some time, well done!
God dammit.
Jesus fucking Christ
LMAO. Lemmy comment of the year right here.
On the back, belly, face, etc always seemed like a waste of good cum to me. Like, if it's not being absorbed by mucus membranes somewhere, then are you really living?
Perform what though?
Perform vaginal sex upon Mrs. Obama as Mr. Obama pumps his fist and chants βYes we can!β
King Lear.
It's only the first act, though. You'll be fine.
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(4 replies)
I find Michelle to be attractive, so I'd say yes. Unless Mr. Obama is also looking to get freaky, then probably no.
Personally there are exactly 0 US presidents I'd fuck. They do not deserve sex imo
Oh yeah??? So you're telling me if we did a comprehensive review of your comments we wouldn't find any instance of you saying "fuck [president's name]"???
Checkmate, gottem, I rest my case.
you got me
James Garfield was kind of good looking, I might bottom for him.
Lincoln, but only if I get to wear the hat
Lincoln, but only if I get to wear the beard
This is why we needed Kamala
He just wants to watch.
Oh, that's okay then.
go for the weed w/presidential seal. π‘
Would. Both of them.
Some experiences are just so crazy, you have to say yes, given the opportunity, so that freakiness can be born into the universe through you.
You're not going to not take the Obamas up on a threesome. That kind of opportunity doesn't knock twice.
Careful before you commit; we havenβt seen them in a while.
What a nice polite man!
Opportunity of a lifetime.