this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2026
463 points (94.3% liked)

Funny

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[–] canniest_tod@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago

I was hoping she could fix me.

[–] Bazell@lemmy.zip 31 points 3 days ago

Skill issue?

[–] tired_n_bored@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

I can fix her

[–] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 15 points 2 days ago

I think she is the Fixer

But…. I can try…

[–] youcantreadthis@quokk.au 26 points 3 days ago (4 children)

What needs fixing? Why was she caught?

[–] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

From the news article someone linked:

The woman was allegedly second-in-command in the Los de la M gang, where she was supposedly known for her precise aim and skill with firearms. She gained a reputation due to multiple incidents across Colombia, according to local newspaper Diario del Norte.

She was arrested alongside alleged accomplices "Gorda Sicaria" or "Fat Hitwoman" and a man called "Leopoldo" on Dec. 1 in connection to the murder of her ex-boyfriend Deyvy Jesús García Palomino on July 23. Police said Rodriguez allegedly told Deyvy to meet her to settle a money issue, but once he arrived two men drove by on a motorcycle and shot him.

Details unclear but seems like stereotypical gangster stuff

[–] youcantreadthis@quokk.au 4 points 2 days ago

So she needs help with creativityand not getting caught. I can fix her!

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[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 27 points 3 days ago

Don't worry, i'm a mechanic.

[–] Reisen@sh.itjust.works 20 points 3 days ago

i would make her worse

[–] VicksVaporBBQrub@sh.itjust.works 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Sydney Bristow lives rent-free in my head. We both use the same bank branch, the same grocery store lane, visit the same yogurt hut, enjoy ube ice-cream straight outta the carton. And discover we have the same hobby of expensive tactical flashlights.

[–] username123@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That's just Jennifer Gardner with extra steps.

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[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Whats to fix? Probably got a great cacaine hookup, can win any fights someone picks with me.

Wouldnt be surprised if she fucked like a psycho.

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[–] TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 days ago

I would wear my Colombian necktie on our first date

[–] KatherinaReichelt@feddit.org 11 points 3 days ago (13 children)

That news is from December 2024. So why are you posting this in April 2026?

[–] SharkAttak@kbin.melroy.org 16 points 2 days ago

Maybe because it's not /breakingnews?

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[–] SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 3 days ago

This doll wants to play…with you 🔪🔪🔪

[–] OldGrayDog@fedinsfw.app 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

If she was to dye her hair blonde and dressed like a Russian model maybe drumpf might be attracted to her and well you know...... solve a few of the US's problems.

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GIRL POWER!

I don't want to fix her I want to show her killing for money isn't as satisfying as killing the money.

Protect the dolls

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