Edit: you can make your own at deathgenerator.com, as @samus12345@sh.itjust.works mentioned
The White House, ten minutes later…
this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2026
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I'm starting a gofundme for the ninjas to support them during this trying time.
If everyone chips in $5, we can make the world a better place.
The President is a Bad Dude. And not in the slang way that means good.
Trump: I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with me!
Ninja: He just fucking shit his pants. It smells like rotten ketchup, we gotta get outta here!
Oh no! Now he's smearing it out over his face!
They'll never get the smell out of their clothes.
Good dudes
Are you a bad enough dude to just walk away and let them keep him?
Based Dudes
This reminds me of a joke I first heard when W. Bush was president:
In a traffic jam, a group of people go from car to car and say: Some terrorists kidnapped the president and said, they will douse him with gasoline and put him on fire if they don't get a million dollars. So we are collecting donations. – Ok, so how much do people tend to give? – About a gallon or two.
This isn’t based on the news cycle isn’t it?
Disappoint.
Japan's government loves fascism, they're not gonna be sending over any ninjas to abduct him.