Dad Jokes

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This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

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Clean jokes only please. If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old and they can understand, you probably shouldn’t post it here. Please post edgier jokes to: !unclejokes@lemmy.world
Adult topics with which to be cautious or avoided: drugs, sex, death, racism.
Must post text, image (e.g., meme), or direct link. Do not post external links that cannot be viewed directly from the community (e.g., link to joke website, Facebook, Instagram, etc.)
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submitted 3 hours ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

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[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 3 points 38 minutes ago

Marina Sirtis: "I didn't negotiate my contract hard enough."

[–] herrpfad@feddit.org 2 points 57 minutes ago

Even if he was not serious, the situation is well con-trolled.

[–] TachyonTele@piefed.social 2 points 2 hours ago

Yeah well I paint pictures of unfinished building. Im a construction artist.

[–] LemmingOnTheEdge@lemmy.world 3 points 2 hours ago

I feel like I'm being misled

[–] midribbon_action@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

I don't get it, I just feel like you don't know what 'con' is. It means fraud; using con-fidence to manipulate people. It's not a stand in for 'criminal' but a particular type of crime. Maybe it's funny that Picard would sometimes get to be a con artist artist, but that is not really... idk.. you missed though.

[–] davidgro@lemmy.world 10 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

In US English at least, it's also a very common abbreviation for "convict" as in a convicted criminal. Although one would likely see more of those in a prison or being lead out of a courtroom, I'm sure a typical police station has plenty of repeat offenders.

[–] midribbon_action@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago) (1 children)

I've never heard con as short for convict, but I also don't hang out with police very much. I don't think I would call it common usage though

Edit: I take this back slightly, I have heard of excons in place of exconvicts, but not 'cons' or con on its own.

[–] JcbAzPx@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

A con is fairly common parlance for a career criminal. I'm surprised you've never heard it used that way.

[–] midribbon_action@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 30 minutes ago

Even if we take that definition though the joke isn't really good though. Why would the police need drawings of convicts? Drawings are used when the police don't know who committed a crime.

[–] MisshapenDeviate@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 hours ago

Could be an abbreviation for "constable"?