this post was submitted on 07 May 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 302 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Am I out of touch? No, it's all of society outside of my congregation that's wrong.

That isn't a joke, Christians are deliberately conditioned to believe this.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 103 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Well, it IS a joke. They're a joke.

Just not the funny kind.

[–] Little8Lost@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago (5 children)
[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

WOOOOOO!!!!

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[–] rslogix89@lemmy.world 126 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 167 points 1 month ago (5 children)
[–] backalleycoyote@lemmy.today 48 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Tyrq@lemmy.dbzer0.com 46 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Rehance, Dehance, and drop out

[–] funkajunk@lemmy.world 30 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 58 points 1 month ago (2 children)
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[–] chortle_tortle@mander.xyz 16 points 1 month ago

It is really a meme if it doesn't have boomer aspect ratio issues?

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[–] CandyPants@lemmy.ml 111 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Buy that kid a year of premium and toss him a joint.

Anyone else tired of the most hateful people you know lecturing you about whats moral?

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 24 points 1 month ago

Totally tired. And they're Mostly exactly into the very same thing, they so despise publicly. "The hub"...bet this douche uses it more than the Lil hero here.

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[–] otacon239@lemmy.world 100 points 1 month ago

Hell yeah brother. Represent.

[–] areakode@riskeratspizza.com 90 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Wait... Bro, you're punishing him... For doing the things that I do every day? Rock on, dude!

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 43 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] areakode@riskeratspizza.com 15 points 1 month ago

And MY AXE!

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[–] JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Get out there and stand on the corner with him. Before long, more people will join & soon you'll have a whole crowd of chronic pot-smoking masturbators gathered in solidarity & you can exchange contact info for future smoke & stroke gatherings.

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[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 62 points 1 month ago

From memory, I'd say it's pretty normal for a 14yo boy to be whacking off all the time.

[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 58 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Feed him a stew that makes him go blind for 1 day.

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 18 points 1 month ago

1 day blind stew is the way to go, I can confirm.

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[–] BigDiction@lemmy.world 53 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I would 💯 give a honk and a 🤙 for the young lad. Lotta life left to live!

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[–] shiv@sh.itjust.works 48 points 1 month ago

I wish I had my shit together as much as this kid does at his age. He's got it figured out.

[–] bagsy@lemmy.world 46 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Make him smoke a whole carton of the reefers and watch every video on the 'Hub', that will show him.

[–] kieron115@startrek.website 74 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] happy_wheels@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Can't believe I had to scroll down this far for this.

[–] JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm a massage therapist and I'll never forget one particular client 2 years ago had a remarkably muscular right forearm, a twinkle in his eye, and the rest of his body was as muscular as jello.

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[–] Bluedragon012@lemmy.world 45 points 1 month ago (5 children)

He is a little young to be doing weed, needs a conversation about its effects on younger minds. As for porn, time for proper sex Ed. no punishment needed, more education needed.

(to be clear the weed take is imo, not fact, do what's best for you)

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 26 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Oh, we don't do compassion and positive reinforcement around here.

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[–] jaggedrobotpubes@lemmy.world 37 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Now you make him smoke the whole pack of joints and watch all the porn.

"Don't come out of your room until you finish your report on sounding and gaping."

[–] Hypnotoad_@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 month ago

This kid will be alright

[–] frustrated_phagocytosis@fedia.io 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

An out of control child would not stand out there for 5 hours, he would choke you until you pass out and stop bothering him.

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 41 points 1 month ago (5 children)

"Out of control" means different things to christo-fascists.

To them, it means 'doesn't do exactly what I say at all times'.

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[–] Rubanski@discuss.tchncs.de 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

There it Is, random Capitalization IN The wild.

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[–] jeniferariza@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

That punishment turned into free advertising real fast.

[–] nightwatch_admin@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

OK, so from a parent/caretaker I get that smoking pot (at home) isn’t maybe a great idea to just let happen, but humiliating the kid in front of everyone is an absolute shitshow. Good thing the passers-by were quite a bit more understanding. And the tossing? As long as it’s not in grandma’s salad.. whatever.

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[–] PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

Living his best life.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 16 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Make him move rocks into a pile. If he hasn't learned his lesson yet, make him move them into a new pile.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

Not sure what to do

Have you tried not being lame and smoking pot while tossing off with him?

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 35 points 1 month ago (2 children)

If my mom masturbated next to me, that would probably have suppressed my sexdrive well into my 80s.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Ok but what about your dad?

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[–] daggermoon@piefed.world 14 points 1 month ago

What a motherfucking G.

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

I would have sprung for a professionally made sandwich board or spinny sign.

I really hope this guy got some high-fives for his trouble.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Plot twist, he was watching auntie femdom porn, where the aunt punishes her nephew. This is his kink.

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[–] Lanske@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

In other words: a totally normal kid

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