this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2026
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[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 73 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I have such a problem with the expression “take a shit.”

Really ought to be “leaving a shit.”

I’m not a turdburglar. I plant them, I don't take them.

[–] edwardbear@lemmy.world 58 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

I think in this instance, it is pointed as a type of activity one can “par”take in, the same way one takes a walk, or takes care.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Here comes the care remover!

[–] errer@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Why don’t you go leave a walk?

[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Leave the walk alone!

/sj

[–] mech@feddit.org 17 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Every day I take a shit, but I take no shit.
And I don't give a shit if you give me shit. Only if you take my shit.

[–] edwardbear@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Shit, I’d shit the shit out of that shit.

[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 weeks ago

This poetry needs to be etched into a bathroom stall asap

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 35 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

My first thought would be that it's probably located in Penn Station in NYC. But walking out of the station and smelling the air, it's possible the streets of the city itself are the toilet we've been looking for.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

it’s possible the streets of the city itself are the toilet we’ve been looking for.

🥲

[–] Lehmuusa@nord.pub 22 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (4 children)

This is something that can be found out, actually. For example, large monasteries that have existed for a millennium or longer are likely candidates. Though, maybe some airport loo generates enough turd per day that they can cover that monastery's monthly turd production in a day?

That would mean that they are able to turdify our seas in half a century as much as the large monastery can do in about 15 centuries.

What toilets have a constant queue 24/7, decade after decade? There aren't that many of those.
We can do this. We just need to put our heads into it!

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 15 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (4 children)

Hmm, what if the toilet fixture was replaced due to age/damage/upgrade, but is still in the same location connected to the same drain? Is it the same toilet? Does a toilet of Theseus count, or does the counter restart?

[–] zea_64@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 2 weeks ago

Shit of Theseus

[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 9 points 2 weeks ago

I'd say no myself. If you replace the toilet that's a new toilet. We aren't look for the pipe that's held the most turd, we are looking for the toilet that's held the most turd

[–] Bahnd@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I would say yes, but only if its replaced and not moved (so pit toilets would be difficult to count), this way the result is the shittiest place on earth. With the advent of modern plumbing, most commodes are less than a century old, but we have to account for past use, I would think the latrines at the Coloseum in Rome would be high on the chart but they are no longer in use (your going to get weird looks taking a dump in a dig site).

[–] Damage@feddit.it 3 points 2 weeks ago

There can be multiple categories

[–] kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm guessing a bathroom in Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport. It has the most flights per day of any airport and probably reaches the 1000-year total of a monastery in a week.

Another hub airport (probably in the US or PRC) might have the edge if it has fewer bathrooms per flight or renovated them less frequently.

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 3 points 2 weeks ago

There's probably a Port-a-Jon out there thats been in service for decades and seen thousands of construction sites and county fairs &etc.

[–] Tiresia@slrpnk.net 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

It's probably going to be some public toilet in Ancient Rome. 600+ years of men sitting shoulder to shoulder, shitting into a sewer that automatically carried their leavings away without the need of interruptions for cleaning.

If the toilet needs to be intact for it to count, it might even be one of the ones in the very picture I linked.

How are we quantifying "most turds"? Would a single bowel movement count as multiple turds if they came out as separate pieces? Is there a minimum mass or volume to count as a single turd? What about bowel movements that are not solid?

[–] jojo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 2 weeks ago

Ayyyyy Oneshot

[–] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 weeks ago

I was at an airport bathroom in Cuba, pretty sure it was that one. The taxi drivers standing around it seemed pretty proud of the fact.

[–] Oaksey@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

Some airplane toilets might even be up there. Up to 90 passengers per toilet.

[–] blockheadjt@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I am guessing there's a tie for quantity of shits.

There would be a winner for highest mass of total shit, though.

[–] fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk 8 points 2 weeks ago

We all know.

It's [person you don't like]'s mother's mouth.

[–] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

My guess would be international airports, or hotels in tourist hot spots.

[–] Apocalypteroid@anarchist.nexus 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] mortemtyrannis@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 weeks ago

The biggest toilet bowl of them all.

[–] saltnotsugar@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

Probably some airport bathroom stall, the one in the back, in some very large city.

[–] binarytobis@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

They suspect at least, the people who have used it.

[–] ButteredBread@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Gormadt@slrpnk.net 2 points 2 weeks ago

Seems inspired by it for sure

[–] j5y7@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

Probably one of the cans at Lambeau Field.

[–] Lauchmelder@feddit.org 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] xylol@leminal.space 2 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah I've seen it, turds past the height if the seat, and the top pile was white from the brown being washed out by people peeing on it. Worst portapotty I've ever seen

[–] rmrf@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 weeks ago

It isn't a record then, now is it?

[–] Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.org 3 points 2 weeks ago

We might not know but the toilet surely does. And it's planning its revenge.

[–] KSPAtlas@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 week ago
[–] tgirlschierke@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

It might be somewhere in Mecca, but the fasting on the month of Dhu'l-Hijja probably makes that unlikely. A more likely option is somewhere on Heathrow Airport.

there's also a ship of Theseus problem to this.