Wolf: "W...What the.... brain overloads from getting pet like a good boy"
this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2026
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Wolf: I hope this doesn’t awaken something in me
I wonder if those humans have any more of those delicious pastries
This feel oddly real and heterosexual, I don't like it
Don't worry, I'm pretty sure it's fake (and gay)
Yeah, it was really a spaniel, and he didn't 'pat its back' with his hand.
The spaniel dry humped him and the pop tart was off brand. And the teacher didn't scream but just laughed
I have someone related to me that took in a stray Maine Coon cat that was actually a Bob cat and they didn't find out until the first vet visit. I think it had to go to some zoo or like Sanctuary place because they had it for quite a while and were feeding it like regular wet cat food.
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Ha ha, "looks like he's going to call HR for inappropriate contact"
For the record, there has never been a documented attack of a healthy wolf on a person in North America. Obviously if they get rabies or distemper or something all bets are off.
There's also never been a documented case of a wolf contacting HR
There would be NDAs involved, so take that data with a grain of salt.
That's because HR will anonymise the contact data before publishing
depends on how many furries are in your company
that may be true but you should consider that HR departments are notorious for failing to document complaints from members of socially-disadvantaged groups
Another element that could be at play here:
He thought it was a dog.
Dogs, because we domesticated them, have muscles around their eyes, that allow them to make eye/eyebrow expressions.
Wolves do not have these. Because they're the ones we did not domesticate for millenia.
So, if he was expecting dog expressions... wolves literally cannot make the same facial expressions.
They essentially always look like they have RBF, in comparison to a dog.
Interestingly some dog breeds also still lack those muscles, like huskies
Huh! You're right, I did not know that.
Huskies are... much closer to being actual wolves though, genetically speaking.
Seems like this applies to malamutes and samoyeds as well...?
I wonder do dingoes have them. I haven't been able to find any information on that yet
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It's thought the species we domesticated was distinct from wolves of today. That species went extinct in the wild.
There have been documented healthy wolf attacks in North America. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_wolf_attacks_in_North_America
Some on the list are rabid, but the list also includes both captive and predative wolf attacks, including fatalities.
You are wrong. Candice Berner, Kenton Carnegie and Marc Leblond were all deemed to have been killed by healthy wolves.
There have been at least 24 non-fatal wolf attacks by healthy wolves since 2000 in north America alone: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_wolf_attacks_in_North_America
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An oldie but goldie.
Meanwhile cats just showed up, said that they live here now. 10,000 years later, cats run the internet and more or less still the same genetically for the past 10,000 years.
They kill rats.
Keep the granaries uninfested.
And roughly half of them also carry a parasite that rewires the brain/neurological DNA of humans via epigenetic manipulation.
Also they can be adorable.
I thought that parasite wasn't carried long-term by cats, only by humans?
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The wolf his pack now calls Poptart
"It was one time!"
Wolves can get rabies, that can be a factor for being more willing to socialize with people.
My dog is rabid. Got it.
TIL: I definitely don't have rabies.
No, your dog has Williams Syndrome.
No, you made a wild wolf more dangerous as it has now received food after being near a human. That wolf will now approach more people to get food.
Dog domestication took centuries to millenia. And the most dangerous predators are those that are descended from domestic or near domestic animals.
Both are true. Curious wolves approaching humans and getting/stealing food was very likely the first step in domestication.
At the same time, it still holds true that it is dangerous
Yup, plus the friendlier ones were more likely to get fed, mean ones more likely to get killed, which resulted in more or less offspring like them. Do that for generations and voila, you're now a French bulldog
Anon is beastmaster, creating danger wolves
Yup, some people recommend actually scaring wild animals away and not attracting them, for exactly that reason. A wolf that has learned that hanging out with humans means food becomes a safety risk and is likely going to be shot one way or the other.
The kid didn't know, of course. But we should let wild animals be wild animals, and get our stone-age desire to pet wolves from some wolf sanctuary or something, where the wolves are used to humans anyway.
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