this post was submitted on 13 Jun 2026
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[–] yesman@lemmy.world 238 points 6 days ago (7 children)
[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 67 points 6 days ago (1 children)

There's no question that judging women by their appearance is a widespread problem, but doing expensive/unsafe medical things for the sake of appearance is also about personality.

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 52 points 6 days ago (4 children)

Yes... a personality often built off the unhealthy relationship society has with women's physical appearance. Sure, women can not care, but their lives will often unfortunately be much more difficult for it. Even accounting for the effort put into their appearance. These things are not so easily divorced in reality as they are in online discussions.

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[–] LouNeko@lemmy.world 54 points 6 days ago (13 children)

Am I supposed to know Ariana Grande on some deep interpersonal level to realize that she looks like a walking corpse?

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[–] Omnipitaph@reddthat.com 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Judging people they don't know by their appearance.

I've seen WAY more women tear down other women for their appearance than men. That and the crazy online dating statistics that came out showing women judge people by their appearance way more harshly.

I don't know if its a cultural problem or not, but people in general judge others by their appearance. Beautiful men have pretty privilege just as much as women.

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[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 19 points 4 days ago

My wife has been getting GLP-1 ads constantly. She weighs 110 lb and has struggled with anorexic tendencies since she was a teenager. Consumerism has no conscience.

[–] NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca 65 points 5 days ago (1 children)

1). Society tells women they need to do things “preventively” to avoid becoming hideous goblins in a few years. That’s why you see 22 year olds getting Botox - they have been told they have to start paying NOW to avoid wrinkles

2). Hollywood and entertainment media have normalized unrealistic standards. And you can’t become a newcomer in that space without conforming to the employable look

3). Gossip media loves to pick apart any millimetre of fat (“Is ______ pregnant? Click to see her baby bump!”) or photo taken in bad lighting (“What is wrong with ______ ‘s health, click to see what our medical specialists have to say”). And then they love to chastise people after they give into plastic surgery (“Click to see ______’s terrible nose job, why DID she do it??”)

Billions of dollars are made making women feel shitty. Nobody is going to let that cash go because morals.

[–] velma@lemmy.blahaj.zone 35 points 5 days ago (2 children)

This meme is part of the system here as well.

No one in this thread is complaining about ugly women getting these procedures done. They want women to be attractive, but only on their terms.

[–] FlyingCircus@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago

Fuck the patriarchy. All my homies hate the patriarchy.

[–] NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca 14 points 5 days ago

Yes it’s irritating that society can celebrate the good qualities of men who aren’t physically attractive (sense of humour, intelligence, kindness, etc.) but has such trouble accepting that a woman who isn’t physically attractive can have worthwhile qualities. We can’t seem to compute when a woman decides that she has other priorities.

[–] justOnePersistentKbinPlease@fedia.io 119 points 6 days ago (13 children)

Because the cosmetics industry spends billions of dollars a year yelling at women that they aren't good enough.

They're working the same bullshit on boys too (publicly) for the last 20 years.

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 24 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I mean, it's been going on far longer than 20 years. It's just been more directly relatable to how women's appearances have been critiqued since 'metrosexuality' was a trend a couple decades ago.

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[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 25 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Insecurity will poison every aspect of your life

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[–] CultLeader4Hire@lemmy.world 82 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Because society tells attractive women our value is primarily being attractive and losing that is scary since most people aren’t willing to give up the only thing that makes them valuable

[–] interrobang@lemmy.blahaj.zone 38 points 6 days ago (2 children)

When I got fat, people were assholes to me so much more often. They had no patience for me, it was crazy. I got back in shape and I'm worth courtesy and kindness again, apparently.

I'm afraid of aging in part because I'm scared to lose that basic human decency again.

[–] quill7513@anarchist.nexus 14 points 5 days ago (4 children)

this reminds me of a story. a friend who who underwent HRT and surgical transition early in life with support of her parents. she started dating someone in her mid 20s. he was kind, patient, and gentle to her for the first months of their relationship. then the topic of kids came up. she was upfront with him. "we'd have to adopt. i'm trans" and it was like a lightswitch turned in him. he screamed at her for tricking him and stormed out sticking her with the restaraunt bill. by all of the things that supposedly matter in society, she had done everything right. she was conventionally attractive by femme standards, her physical appearance was so in alignment with femme standards in fact that this secret chud hadn't even realized she was trans. but still, the moment she couldn't perform the full societal standard for what it means to be femme presenting, she was met with threats of physical violence, abandoned, and left to fulfill a responsibility that it had been pre-agreed on he would cover.

and i ask you: who tricked who? the trans woman who in 2013 didn't want to bring up her transness until she knew she was safe, or the man who said he was an ally up until the moment someone he said he loved turned out to require even basic allyship

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[–] Nora@lemmy.dbzer0.com 56 points 6 days ago

Oh boy a thread about women's bodies, I'm sure this will be a civil and rational discussion and definitely won't have misogynistic views throughout the entire thing.

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 49 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (12 children)

Dude my gorgeous friend 38 getting filler. Now looks like she's ate some shellfish she's allergic to.

Keeps getting it every 6 months or so.

Just awful.

I can't tell her cause that will make her feel even worse.

God I hope she stops. I'm angry at the advertisement and grifters that convinced her she needed it.

We are both millennials. Aka ageless women. None of us even look our age anyway. And she's thinking she needs to fix her perfect face.

Idk. I just reject all that nonsense. I'm ready to experience this whole life. I want to be an older woman when I'm older. I don't want to be one way forever. Boring.

But culture tells women they are worthless when they are less fuckable. I hate it.

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[–] robocall@lemmy.world 35 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I lost about 100lbs on a prescription similar to ozempic. The world is much kinder to me now. I got a promotion, more hours working, society is friendlier and kinder. I would recommend anyone considering it talk to their doctor.

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[–] Arcanepotato@crazypeople.online 53 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Why do people keep inventing ways to make people feel insecure about their appearances? Because there is a lot of money in it, comrade.

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[–] nullspace@lemmy.world 34 points 5 days ago (20 children)

I dunno, I think the tides of public opinion are shifting on ozempic. Mostly because of how absolutely awful being fat is on your body. Though, where it's priced now it's going to remain a designer drug for vain, rich assholes with a touch of sour grapes for everyone else.

In my own opinion I wouldn't even put it in the same category as those others.

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[–] MiddleAgesModem@lemmy.world 42 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Not a woman, so I could be full of shit. It does seem to me that women face much more pressure to be conventionally attractive, especially in image-intensive jobs like acting.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 20 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Very true, and already-attractive women started being told how pretty they were while they were younger so it became part of their identity and sense of self-worth. So they're vulnerable to the fear of "losing their looks."

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[–] daannii@lemmy.world 19 points 6 days ago (8 children)

A lot is advertising. Dude im 40F. It's nonstop advertising to get fillers. Botox. Implants. Ozempic.

Constantly bombarded with it.

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[–] velma@lemmy.blahaj.zone 24 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (6 children)

I kind of hate that this implies “ugly” women will not be judged here for using the same beauty procedures as already attractive women.

Not to mention that these beauty procedures are also sought out by men.

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 12 points 5 days ago (4 children)

Wholesome plot twist; the "already attractive women" includes all the women.

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[–] interdimensional_sharts@lemmy.world 43 points 6 days ago (2 children)
[–] quill7513@anarchist.nexus 36 points 6 days ago (11 children)

and if you interrogate where that insecurity has its roots, you will often find the answer is a society that constantly subjects women to judgement for their appearance, be that negative or positive judgement. it is simply the experience of being judged. botox, ozempic, plastic surgery, etc all becomes gender affirming care when you are femme in a society that requires femme identifying people to perform the role of disireable sexual object

the original post asks why. the original post also is why

and men have their own experiences with oppositional gaze, too, so we are clear. if you've ever heard the phrase "low t" applied to a man in his 30s or later, you have witnessed it

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[–] LadyButterfly@reddthat.com 13 points 5 days ago (2 children)

It's her body and she gets to make the choice

[–] wabasso@lemmy.ca 17 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I technically agree with this. If it came down to making laws about this or that, body autonomy takes priority. But I don’t think that should preclude discussion about an individual’s motivation for the modification, and whether it is healthy.

[–] 1995ToyotaCorolla@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

Especially since women are under constant pressure to chase unrealistic beauty expectations.

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[–] thorhop@sopuli.xyz 30 points 6 days ago

Self hatred is an industry. The manosphere is one part, and the beauty industry is the other - both trying to make you hate yourself and then sell you the cure. It's emotional and psychological grifting.

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 23 points 5 days ago

Social media is brain poison. That's why, that's the reason.

[–] shweddy@lemmy.world 26 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (16 children)

Patriarchy

e: Some dudes apparently can't take accountability and they gotta downvote me to prove their point

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 27 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

and misogyny

[–] vrek@programming.dev 25 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (7 children)

Honestly I disagree. I rarely see men judge a woman for looks. It's typically women judging other women for looks. I've never seen a man look down on a woman for not having painted nails for example but have seen woman comment on another woman for her nails being chipped.

There was an old joke like "if you ever are about to have sex with a man and he comments about how your panties and bra don't match... RUN! What is wrong with that person? No man cares, hell you're about to remove them anyways."

Edit: men are dangerous for many reasons. Typically the opposite problem, they see a woman as too beautiful to refuse the desire to have sex with them. They rarely have the feeling of" well she would be pretty but seriously, that shirt with those heels?".

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[–] ZkhqrD5o@lemmy.world 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] velma@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 5 days ago (1 children)

She has Graves’ disease.

[–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 11 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

That requires the hideous mods she did to her face?

She was super super pretty, even if not your type, she looked great. Wtf did she do.

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