this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] darkdemize@sh.itjust.works 188 points 2 months ago
[–] MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 108 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works 44 points 2 months ago

Good sir, thou hast come unto my godly chamber. I shall now excise thy unholy member!

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 63 points 2 months ago

And where would one find this repugnant den of heretical iniquity? So one can avoid it, of course.

[–] TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip 61 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Who the fuck was the snitch!

[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago

No one said she was in any kind of trouble for it. I think this is just marketing

[–] w3ird_sloth@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

My wife, unfortunately.

[–] Noite_Etion@lemmy.world 58 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)
[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 19 points 2 months ago (4 children)
[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 18 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

That's a grown-up thing, you'll learn soon enough.

Edit: having now watched the clip I see the endless ways I could've answered this better. Goddammit.

[–] Noite_Etion@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's supposed to read fellatio, but whoever captioned this tried to censor it, was just the only option I found in my 30 second search for this image.

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[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

I think it's a kind of pasta

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[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 44 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Post nut ~~clarity~~ sanctity.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 42 points 2 months ago (1 children)

A photo of the church is more than enough for geoguessers to figure it out.

[–] toofpic@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago (4 children)

And said geoguessers are already in heaven

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[–] EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 26 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Hey, try not to slay any demons on the way through the parking lot!

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[–] clucose@lemmy.ml 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

She practiced, did she get better?

[–] M0oP0o@mander.xyz 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I don't know, how good could she have been at it to be found out? Like if this was voluntary why would anyone give up free secret oral sex? If it was not voluntary then... Church things.

[–] DragonOracleIX@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Could also be one of the guys ratting her out after feeling guilty about going through with it.

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[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 18 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] KneeTitts@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

My friend Jim... he also has a, demon, in him. ya.

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[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 16 points 2 months ago

That’s just the next thing you do when praying the gay away doesn’t work.

[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

🎶 There's a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen 🎶

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[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Demons hate this little trick.

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[–] bennypr0fane@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I'm sure you have to be an acquainted faithful to receive that service

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If I knew there were bjs to be had I'd have been willing to give church a shot. The few times I went there it was just a crabby old man reading his storybook to everyone.

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[–] Zephyr@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago
[–] Jaeger86@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Pretty sure I've seen that plot somewhere

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

As an atheist I've suddenly realized that there is a demon living in my penis.

Send help. Specifically this pastor.

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[–] TheStaffmaster@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

I have a gluttony demon. This may require repeat appointment-Er, I mean "anointments"

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 8 points 2 months ago

So you should all know that I founding a new church!

The Church of the Clean Bill of Health!

Got a clean bill of health? You're welcome at my church!

[–] 1984@lemmy.today 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)
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The power of Christ compelled her to swallow hog.

[–] Avicenna@programming.dev 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I am pretty sure there are porn movies with this exact theme

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[–] solidheron@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

We have female pastors now?

[–] rotkehle@feddit.org 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I had a female pastor in my church almost 30 years ago. so yes we have female pastors for a while now.

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[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Remember how Jesus pulled out a demon (or demons) named Legion? They're in me and I desperately need this woman's help. Please. I'm suffering.

Edit: Actually, this could have got me to go to church.

[–] BlackLaZoR@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Should've advertised it as an exorcism.

[–] DandomRude@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

The body of Christ, given for you. Take and eat.

[–] ohulancutash@feddit.uk 6 points 2 months ago
[–] hardcoreufo@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But which church? There are so many disgusting demon sucking pastors.

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[–] KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'm pretty sure I have demon in me. Where do I apply?

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