this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2026
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Ah, the joys of being a woman in her early thirties! (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) by meltycat@lemmy.world to c/memes@lemmy.world
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I sleep 10 hours a night but still need to nap constantly during the day. Even 400 mg of caffeine doesn't buzz me, it just makes me feel 70% close to my normal, high energy 20s self. My daytime fatigue is so severe I've been mistaken for being drunk (even though I don't drink), and I experience a dream like brain fog around friends unless I use caffeine pills to seem present.

I know this is part of normal aging for a woman in her 30s, but it's frustrating to constantly need naps when I haven't even done anything. Sometimes you just have to biohack. Still, I feel a bit jealous of how men age differently and seem to keep loads of energy.

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[–] renegadespork@lemmy.jelliefrontier.net 7 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

It sounds like you built up a tolerance and would benefit from quitting caffeine altogether. The first week or so will be a groggy hell, but once you adjust, your baseline will be much more alert.

[–] meltycat@lemmy.world -4 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

I don't have caffeine often, it's only when I'm on outings.

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[–] pageflight@piefed.social 20 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I'm male, but haven't heard of this level of fatigue from my female friends / wife. It does sound like having a young child though (minus the part about getting >8h sleep).

Normal or not, sounds terrible, hope it improves!

[–] meltycat@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

I haven't had children, though. I've had every blood test under the sun, too.

[–] redsand@infosec.pub 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Ever heard of long covid or MECFS?

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[–] oneser@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 hour ago

These replies have to be a rage bait thread! Surely!!

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 hours ago

My partner and I are in our 30s and this post describes how we feel during a break after a long adderall binge, or a couple days after we roll together. This is very much not a normal part of aging! We sleep 6-8 hours per night and unless we’re coming off’a a couple weeks of adderall or the like, that’s good for the day without being destroyed.

[–] 5ibelius9insterberg@feddit.org 0 points 36 minutes ago (1 children)

Are you by any chance neurodivergent? Brain fog is a symptom of adhd or autistic burnout. Drinking a metric fuckton of coffee to function is a common way of self medication for undiagnosed adhd people.

https://www.oxfordcbt.co.uk/adhd-and-fatigue/

https://m.youtube.com/c/HowtoADHD/videos?ra=m

[–] meltycat@lemmy.world 0 points 30 minutes ago

No. This started when I entered my thirties, which is how I know it's age related.

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

What are your consumption habits, i.e. when are you drinking your caffeine? The bioactive halflife of caffeine is about 6-8 hours, so it's in your system affecting your mind and body long after the caffeine buzz goes away. My personal rule of thumb is all the caffeine I want before noon, but a hard cutoff at 1pm

[–] meltycat@lemmy.world 4 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I take my caffeine pills about an hour before I'm due to go out. Outings can be 8ish hours, but even when the caffeine is at peak amounts an hour after I take them they don't make me feel buzzed or hyper, just sort of close to normal. And this is at 400 mg.

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (2 children)

If you're taking 400mg at noon, you'll have 200mg in your system at 6pm, and 100mg at midnight. 100mg+ in my system by bedtime will negatively and noticeably affect my sleep in those situations. You could be exhausted due to the time you're consuming caffeine

[–] AmbitiousProcess@piefed.social 2 points 1 hour ago

One thousand percent this. I even find it hard to fall sleep with an estimated 25-50mg of caffeine left in my system sometimes, even if I still feel tired at the same time. 100mg left by that point would almost certainly cause sleep problems.

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[–] Fermion@feddit.nl 6 points 2 hours ago

If you know anyone with a sensitive nose, ask them if the place you live in smells musty or moldy. I've had family members go through similar issues also without any help from the medical system and mold was a major contributing factor. You and anyone else who lives with you will be nose blind to it and won't be able smell it without spending a week or so elsewhere.

[–] yakko@feddit.uk 9 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Recently had my wife do a sleep study. We're vacillating between getting her into a CPAP machine and doing a weight loss program to help with the sleep apnea. She's just the same, constantly at a lower level of energy and life quality, it has limited her in a lot of ways in recent years.

[–] meltycat@lemmy.world -4 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

I don't have sleep apnea, I don't even snore (my boyfriend has watched me sleep). My BMI is 20. I've had every blood test. It's all normal and just a thing I need to get on with that can be solved, at least temporarily, with enough stimulants.

[–] yakko@feddit.uk 8 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Oh shit. Maybe caffeine is secretly the problem? Maybe it's depression? Maybe you need iron? There are a lot of things it could be, I'm just listing things off the top of my head. Sorry though, I do know how much chronic fatigue sucks.

[–] meltycat@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

No depression, I only have caffeine occasionally when I need to be out and social with people, or productive. My iron levels are normal as they have been checked too. Everything's normal! I'm just no spring chicken anymore.

[–] yakko@feddit.uk 1 points 1 hour ago

Are you sedentary? Could be exercise I guess. I'm out of ideas otherwise, boo hiss

[–] assaultpotato@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 hours ago

Might be worth looking at CFS or something. It's more prevalent for AFAB people. Even if you don't have CFS it could provide a useful framework for managing your fatigue. I personally found some supplements to be helpful. Epicatechin + coq10 did wonders for my energy while I was recovering from a related syndrome.

[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

Damn I hope I do t get there😮‍💨 I do 1 cup a day max, usually don’t even finish it.

[–] cattywampas@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

Sounds like caffeine addiction

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Ehhh just microdose meth /s

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 5 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

What do you think Adderall is? Lol

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