memes

Had a helpdesk job. They apparently used to use a very old almost CLI-like interface, but wanted to fase it out to use salesforce. But they still let the seniors at the job use the old interface, while we had to use the new salesforce system.

Which meant that, whenever I had a problem doing something and went to a senior colleague to ask for help that that'd fix it in the old UI, because they never bothered to learn to new one. Which meant that I wasn't learning critical skills in the new UI, and that they weren't learning it at all.

Dumb all around. Quit after half a year for different reasons but that one didn't help

My government job does the same humbug (it sucks).

Worst one is when they replace an actually goated in house tool for some bloated SaaS nonsense because they didn't want to spend the extra 10k on some engineer's salary to maintain it but are willing to spend 50k for a completely new and untested replacement product.

Dept X buys an application without consulting IS. They get 75% through the project then dump it on the CIO's desk saying it needs to be finished and why is it taking so long. Half the shit isn't compliant or compatible with our environment, didn't go through any vetting, then assigned an analyst who has to learn everything top to bottom in a short span which impacts their other projects and support of existing ones, then we get blamed for it not going live as planned/expected. 6 months later they just stop using it. The following year the same dept dumps another 80% project and the process starts all over again.

ClickUp replaced TeamworkPM replaced BaseCamp replaced Microsoft project replaced…

Yeah but do you even scrum bro

There is this weird thing in corporate where there is an aversion to teaching certain types of roles. In IT its always expected you learn and you'll be given stuff and told to figure it out even when its completely outside you role and not tech related. But god forbid any other department has to spend 5mins learning how to use their own tool. So many times some fuckwit comes and says "we need this software that gives us a notification for x event its only 10,000 a year" but you already have that feature in your current software just go set it up. "I dont know how to set it up"

ok so learn? Go read the documentation bro I dont know what else to tell you figure it out the software is designed for people like you to do this exact thing. its your software you got it for this purpose you can't just get new software because it wasnt preconfigured exactly how you need.

Does my head in. But ive been mentally defeated now i just laugh and say sure send me your business case and I'll put in the request. Then I get a dogshit AI generated corpspeak slop request. Its always like this will boost productivity and efficiency. Yeah sure it will mate.

Oh god there was one for making AI generated training videos and I'm just thinking but you already send out shitty AI generated training videos why do you need this specific expensive software to do it. This meme ruined my day.

Know that feeling. We have Jira and we all had training on it but only about 100 people in an org of 30,000 can create new projects so we all use free Trello until the project is created in jira and still use trello because the person setting up the project did it wrong.

This is currently happening at my job.

We have one program that does A and B and C and D and E. But for some reason we use it for A and C, but not B and D and E. We don't really do B or E, but we do D and we do that with just spreadsheets and emails.

and then upper management signs us up for a different website and app and thing that everyone has to sign up and make accounts and do training in order to figure out, and this company is handling B for us.

Then they see another new shiny thing and we have to do all of it over again and it's supposed to handle D, which we were already handling in another way, but now have to learn this new way.

And then upper management just fuckin' Mommy Blogs their way into a third and a fourth and a fifth website, service, app, sign up, program, AI, bullshit that we all have to make accounts for, learn how to use, and spam all of our emails, so now we have different services for each thing, A through E, and we're all screaming "why are you doing this?"

Why couldn't we just use the original program that did all of these things?

It honestly reminds me of when I was really little and my mom would hear these 'mom tips' on how to organize chore charts or incentive programs for us as little kids to get us to clean our rooms. Every summer, sometimes twice a summer, she'd sit us all down super duper excited, eyes sparkling, and go "Okay, family, this is how we're running everything from now on. Like this is how our entire family is gonna do this. This is what we're all about now." and then explain some convoluted points system.

It'd last for like two weeks and then we'd go back to just doing what we wanted to do, until Mom got sparkles in her eyes and chased another ineffective system.

I’ve used so many of these softwares for different industries and what they all don’t get is that if all it is is a spreadsheet in disguise, don’t obfuscate my ability to edit shit manually. There are so many edge cases in the real world that your production software simply can’t account for but don’t limit my ability to enter raw data when I need to! Fail soft and move on but don’t keep me from entering an order because the programmer didn’t think you would have any reason to order it.

I've already got mandatory training for the AI replacing the AI that replaced the AI

I'm not even pretending to attend this time