Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
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All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
Two things I hate about our culture: mononormativity (it's like heteronormativity, but with monogamy instead of heterosexuality) and platonic amatonormativity (demonizing casual sex and bodily, carnal, and sexual connections in general, and divinizing an almost ascetic mental, psychological, and "spiritual" connection [whatever that may be, everyone defines it as they please], being a consequence of the cultural hegemony of Abrahamic religions (Christianity, Judaism, and Islam)).
Big words don't make you right, mate
Which parts would you like explained better mate?
We can all see you starting down your nose. And we know you have no science to contribute here...
You're the one coming up short is my point.
Im not sure ive ever seen a post with this much jargon, and the fact that you spend half the time defining jargon in the post is... something
I guess I'm your polar opposite in that. I think having as intimate and strong a bond as you can with just one other person who returns that in full is one of the most valuable things a person can have in life.
I lost my wife to cancer about a decade back. I'm still in my 40s, so people keep expecting me to find someone else and bringing that up. That's unthinkable to me. I wasn't promising to love her and hold her above all others until she died, I was promising it for my life. Me being hers, her being mine, two being one, etc.
It has nothing to do with religion. It has everything to do with love and integrity. If I had a similar relationship with another person now I would see that as invalidating so many things, turning the things that mean the most to me into lies. Every "forever", "no matter what", "this life and any after", "one and only" or any similar thing I ever said would retroactively become lies. All the other things about her being the most important, or coming first, or any other endearment that didn't specify ongoing and (if possible) eternal would retroactively have contingencies attached that clearly they only count unless that selfish bitch dies of something.
It feels so wrong to both her and anyone I would move on to and such a betrayal of my own personal values that it's unthinkable to me on the level of cannibalism. When people expect me to move on my revulsion is what I expect it would be if there was a dead person laying there and those people expected me to start eating them.
I didn't need a cultural hegemony of Abrahamic religions to make me feel that eating the corpse of another human or torturing an infant to death is unthinkably wrong, and it's the same with this.
I really think it's a personal thing for your happiness right? You seem happy to carry her memory and knowing that's exactly what matters to you. If others need someone around, or that you can share the future moments with, then you aren't lying about it being "forever" if you continue living life, life changes lots of things. Sharing that love with someone is huge, but they also wanted to be with you for it. They can't be, so if someone finds someone else and they want to walk through life together I'd like to think someone can find that.
Some are happy with the memory, and their values hold that they would never involve another. But others know that they needed each other to get through the good and the bad, and that person isn't here anymore. They'll never be the same as the person who is gone, but it doesn't mean having them in your life is a "failure" or "betrayal"
Damn. What did OP do to get banned from shit posting of all things?
As a fairly new Lemmy user, it's a bit creepy how often I see seemingly normal posts made in the last few hours along with that big red "Banned from community" tag. Starting to feel like there are just snipers on the rooftops waiting to off people who happen to walk by.
The good news is on Lemmy you can check to see what the moderators claim they did wrong, assuming they didn't write "None" for the reason like some of the garbage tier moderators do.
In this case, they allege some of this user's posts were racist.
So their post "Cueta, Spain right now" was deleted and they were banned for it being racist. I tried to search for whatever the image was in case they'd reposted with an existing title and didn't find anything... other than learning apparently the situation in Ceuta is completely insane.
I hadn't heard that news. I had no idea Spain controlled that tiny bit of land at the tip Africa beside Morocco.
But much as the situation is awful and doesn't seem like a super tasteful topic for a shit post, without seeing whatever it was I can't see how it could be racist. Looking in to Ceuta you can see it has a crazy history, it's been part of Spain for like 400 years, and the inhabitants are a mix of people from many places over time, with the bulk of them being much closer to Morrocan than Spanish.
The whole situation is shit, but I don't see how you could term the folk from one side of a border crossing en masse and loads of violence and death as "racist."
Racism is bad. Not trying to defend it or anything. But unless my settings are wrong OP has 5 posts in the top 30 of the last day in all of LemmyLand. He's half of the top 10 in the last day on this relatively active sub. Sort of sucks to see how slow Lemmy really moves, but that makes it even more weird for one of the people making posts with the most interaction on the platform for a given day to be banned a week. I'm really curious to see that deleted post now.
Notice that there's 2 posts that were removed for racism. The other one was posted 15 days prior, and was an image of a black mark zuckerburg with a comment below it implying that that was the version who steals data, which is clearly a racist post. The moderator who removed it added the comment "Next racist post gets a perma-ban".
The post with the Cueta post that got them banned had the post title of 'Cueta right now', but was an image of an invasion from Lord of The Rings, equating the Cueta migrants as essentially a 'barbarian horde', which has traditionally been used by right-wing media as a racist scare tactic to make their viewers see non-white migrants as evil hordes who are 'invading' their country.
Both memes were clearly very racist, but despite that, they only received a temporary 1-week ban (I would've given a permanent ban for such blatant racism, myself).
7 separate posts to the community within an hour of each other, shit posting or not that's spammy/ rep farming behavior and deserves some kind of mod action. Banned doesn't necessarily mean it's a perm ban.
From what I've seen the gay community is full of 'friends with benefits'. Seems pretty great. Sometimes I resent being straight, where monogomy is basically the only option, and any attempt to break out of it would make me look like a creep.
Hook up culture is very much a thing for straight people. Friends with benefits and booty calls are very normalized. I know several people who have lists of potential bang buddies. I knew of a few friend groups when i was younger where nearly every guy had slept with every girl in the group. If you dont want to be monogamous, just make that clear with potential partners. In my experience i actually struggle to get into monogamous relationships these days as many people don't really want to commit to someone.
Maybe it's a location/age thing, but I missed out on all that. I always made it clear up front what I wanted, and they'd often indicate they're on board initially - until things got serious or an opportunity actually presented itself, then the insecurities came out and suddenly it's all "Am I not enough for you!?"
In the latest case she really had me convinced, even though an opportunity never arose to put it to the test. Told me she was bi, said she wanted to see me with other women, said she was cool with an open marriage - everything I wanted to hear. It was only after marriage & kids that it became apparent she was NOT actually ok with it.
Funny that you're having the opposite problem. Grass is always greener...
Ok I'm laughing my ass off over here. You impregnated this woman multiple times but now you're mad she won't open the relationship?
So you never did any of these things you say are foundational....before having multiple children together lol.
Ok well, you're cooked because the 1 circumstance where monogamy would be preferable for a sexually adventurous woman is......drumroll.....postpartum trying to survive raising babies. She can probably hardly deal with your ass right now much less other men or your relationship dreams.
Go take care of your kids. You will pass go again in , at most, 18 years or upon the breakup with your baby mama.
I mean, you can be poly.
I just have never met anyone that seems happy in those relationships. I’m sure they exist somewhere but most of my friends are miserable and pretty single despite their openness.
Ive been in an extremely successful poly relationship for multiple years now. Almost 6 years with one partner and a little more than 3 with the other.
Its definitely possible to be successful and happy in polyamory... its just a lot of work for everyone involved.
The biggest thing is consent across all parties. You can absolutely cheat in poly. You can betray and be betrayed in Poly. And with the multiple relationships comes with having to be there for multiple partners at all times. So imagine how difficult a single relationship can be in terms of emotional and romantic commitment, it's multiplied by every partner.
But I wouldn't trade it for anything. Been married to my partner for 8.5 years. One GF for nearly 6 and another who was a long time friend turned GF for about 2 years now.
any attempt to break out of it would make me look like a creep.
This depends.
If you're attempting to convince someone who wants a monogamous relationship to have an open one or be poly then yes that is not only creepy, but outright abusive.
There are people out there for you. Go find them, but please don't bother someone who doesn't want that type of arrangement.
A woman once told me sex with me is like microdosing. We're not friends anymore.