this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

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[–] doyun@lemmy.world 0 points 2 hours ago

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[–] Wilco@lemmy.zip 2 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

You got to boil the leprosy out of it.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 2 hours ago

and make sure not enough to kill the worm eggs.

[–] fyzzlefry@retrolemmy.com 27 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Holy shit that text is his voice

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

i heard he got that misphonic voice due to eating contaminated hippo meat in south america. and yes he would eat something like hippo.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] PRIMEcavitationfetishist@quokk.au 67 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

He's got a history with eating raccoon penises. He has defended it. On public record.

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 28 points 1 day ago (4 children)

So we dump water on his head, clean water, and the parasite comes out?

I saw it happen with a praying mantis recently.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

We dump holy water on his head, then it spins around three times, he starts levitating, then he vomits all the moths that hatched from the brain worms.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

demon worms, that make sense now. he also looks the alien in MEN IN BLACK.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 day ago

He kind of looks like the grinch.

The grinch who stole medicine.

I can see him driving his van all the way up that hill in the middle of the night and dumping all those syringes off a cliff.

[–] PRIMEcavitationfetishist@quokk.au 14 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Might take a little more, but I'm pretty sure its never been tried, so why not give it a go?

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

Worst case scenario is that he gets a bath. Interesting scenario, he drowns to death cause he can’t survive in water that’s not rancid.

[–] muffedtrims@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

It needs to be holy water. Just boil the hell out of it.

[–] Ariselas@piefed.ca 3 points 1 day ago

Might be more of a Wrath Of Khan type situation

xHItuY3pHxlUJSG.jpg

dont you mean whale juice/entrails on his head.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well they're dead raccoons. He has a whole roadkill... Thing. And has gone into depth about separating off the penises of raccoons.

You think he's the weird one in this administration?

[–] FreddiesLantern@leminal.space 2 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

the sound of a raw steak that's ready for retirement being pushed through a juicer-rfk voice

"I don't mind it taking a bit longer if it means it's a bit more stiff. But don't make a highpriest of papa Nurgle wait too long now."

[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago
[–] mountainRadish@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Now that's pure comedy right there.

Now me go peepee. Me maybe lucky me do peepeepoopoo

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

To be completely fair, what are the fucking chances?