I'm glad my parents didn't give a shit about me. It forced me to learn on my own even if it happened slowly
this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2026
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How on earth do you get to 38 and not have a job?
other people pay your bills for you. and give you spending money
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Sounds like some seriously bad parenting. How do you not force your kid to get a job and pay for all their shit until 38. He doesn’t stand a chance being kicked out. Need to teach how to support yourself
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Getting a job without a car is very difficult.
Yeah how are you supposed to carry it home otherwise?
Getting a car without a job is very difficult.
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A few people here mentioning this has happened to someone they know. Does anyone have any successful transition to independence stories for older adults? There's someone in my family that I love, but that pretty much fits this description. Does anyone have advice on what helps?
I'd start with making them understand that independence is good for everyone involved. Then small steps towards independence, starting with a simple part-time job. The important part here is that they see more people than just their direct family, to show them the different ways people can function in society.
If this works out, help them identify some personal goals. The hard part of being a shut-in is that you have no agency over your life, so you give up on all your goals. Once you have a little agency, you can start finding goals again. Simple ones at first: saving up some emergency funds, getting a driver's license, making a weekend trip to get out of the house for a couple nights.
Also assuming they are classic shut-ins and not caretaker-type shut-ins: learning how to take care of the household, cooking, developing skills around the house. It's low barrier to entry, they are already in the house after all.
Source: was a NEET for 5 years
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My son moved out for a couple of years, then had to move back in. I told him as long as I have roof over my head, he will too. I'd never kick my son out. I don't understand how parents do that.
I mean 20 adult years and never having a job indicates some real problems. What they are is anyones guess but you'd think they could have managed to get something in those years that could at least buy pizza and games if not a bit of rent and a beater.
The parents probably feel like they're out of options in terms of how to make him move in a positive direction and they are also running out of time as they are or reach retirement age, how can they afford themselves and him on a fixed income?
If he was 18, doing some sort of education/training, or just lost financial footing for a bit that's one thing but whatever is going on there is something else.
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With that CV?