this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

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[–] chronicledmonocle@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

Cal Kestis.....I have to fight the Empire, but I've got force powers and a sweet laser sword. Worth it.

[–] swordgeek@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 hours ago

Well, I'll be a legend for the ages, but will die at Hoover Dam.

So...both?

[–] GreyEyedGhost@piefed.ca 2 points 2 hours ago

I just started playing Vintage Story. Upsides: no taxes, and my house can be as big or small as I want it. Downsides: I will have to slave away every day or I will die, and will probably die repeatedly even if I do. Sort-of upside: dying is merely inconvenient (so far, anyway).

[–] collapse_already@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 hours ago

I'm the Dark Urge? Ya'll better watch out.

[–] somebody2152@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago

so glad I started playing Dispatch after I did a few rounds of Helldivers 2 last night

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 2 points 4 hours ago

Cyberpunk, so like a way cooler looking version of me with blade arms and a double jump. I’m down, that fucks hard.

[–] naht@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

Warhammer 40k - Space Marine 2 ;)

[–] Sho@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

wakes up in Hunt:Showdown

Ah, fuck.....

[–] AgentOrangesicle@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

Me: "I WILL be Elden Lord"

Also Me: refuses to level past 1

[–] vinyl@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

minecraft, so I think I'm a threat to the society

[–] Antium@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago

As in I wake up as the character or wake up in the same place as them as the character?

Last game I played was Green Hell, so if I wake up in the Amazon, I think I'll be dead pretty quickly.

If I just wake up as Jake, I should be okay if I didn't go to sleep with worms, parasites, leeches, poisoned or a bite by a venomous creature.

Sidenote: Is venomed a real word?

[–] dani0tb@lemmus.org 4 points 8 hours ago

My new life goal would be just one directive: "The factory... MUST... GROW!!!!!1"

[–] zerofk@lemmy.zip 5 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

It might’ve been a specific type of adult game.

I’ll be all right. And, ironically, very fucked.

[–] rottenmummy@lemmy.ml 2 points 6 hours ago

Oh shit! Here we go again.

[–] Newhere@lemmy.ml 3 points 8 hours ago

I played tetris 😅 like 25/30 y ago...

[–] ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online 2 points 7 hours ago

I actually don't remember... So I might be a Spanish pirate working for the French in the 1640s and I have been made a baron and I got lots of land a mountain of gold... I think I am doing fine in a world without flush toilets.

[–] fenrasulfr@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago

Vintage Story, sooo bad?

Well I get revived everytime I die but I will a whole lot.

[–] joseandres42@lemmy.world 2 points 8 hours ago

I played hollow knight, so I guess I'm Gregor Samsa now.

[–] Nullpwn@lemmy.world 2 points 8 hours ago

I just replayed half-life 2 so I find this pretty epic

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 5 points 10 hours ago

Witch living in a cozy hut in an enchanted forest

[–] iamerror710@feddit.online 3 points 9 hours ago

Donkey Kong 64. cool.

[–] Notyou@sopuli.xyz 2 points 8 hours ago

I'm replaying Portal, so I guess I'm a chick now. Do I get the portal gun? That would make it pretty awesome.

[–] JigglySackles@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago

Well, going to own some very successful bookstores, or have a decently successful device repair shop. (Bookshop Simulator and ReStory) Thankfully you didn't ask this tomorrow when I start up my next Stalker 2 play through...I'd be pretty damn fucked.

[–] sudochown@programming.dev 8 points 13 hours ago

Disco Elysium. Pretty fucked

[–] ITGuyLevi@programming.dev 2 points 9 hours ago

It was a Maximo game for the PS2, I don't remember which but I'm screwed if I can't figure out how to keep my armor on.

[–] Lorindol@sopuli.xyz 2 points 9 hours ago

Mad Max Rockatansky.

A supreme badass in a S/M - flavoured post-apocalyptic wasteland. I guess it's time to embrace the "mad" part.

[–] Pipster@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 12 hours ago

Endgame Terraria mage with a mostly cleansed world. I think I'm ok.

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 8 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

it's day 54. I'm going insane. These weird looking anthropomorphic animals. They constantly talk gibberish, yet they can write letters in proper English. A raccoon gave me a tent to sleep in yet there is no toilet, no shower, not even a kitchen, but now I owe him 100k in bells whatever that is. There are no other people here. I tried to leave by train but i keep ending up at a different village that is almost exactly the same as mine, same creepy animals, same houses. There is always one human in each village, but I don't think they have a soul. They don't even talk, they are just dead behind their creepy smiles. Will I end up like them? This owl wants me to find bugs and fossils I think, it's the only thing that is keeping me distracted while I plot my escape.

[–] CyberTheProtogen@lemmy.zip 3 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Casualties Unknown. WHY ME?

[–] CyberTheProtogen@lemmy.zip 2 points 11 hours ago

Wait unless it just means I’ll be an expie. In that case, YES!

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 3 points 11 hours ago

My last played game was Railroader so I guess we drivin trains today!

[–] tackleberry@thelemmy.club 2 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

The gods of Olympus have abandoned me 🙁

Age of Mythology?

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 3 points 12 hours ago

Frontiers of Pandora. I'm a 10ft tall blue chick. Navigating the house is going to be interesting.

[–] agent_nycto@lemmy.world 6 points 14 hours ago

There's a little known record of a man named Henry during the medieval period of Bohemia who, one day, went absolutely mad, started talking to everyone while picking flowers repeatedly until he couldn't carry any more because it was "legge day" and turned to alchemy. He apparently kept drinking a type of schnapps that he claimed would "keep him alive forever".

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 3 points 12 hours ago

I'm a mech pilot in the middle of a weird apocalypse (Mech Knight Nightmare). Could be worse.

[–] tedcurran@lemmy.world 4 points 13 hours ago

REDACTED, so... really not great.

[–] coralof@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

I'd wake up in creative mode Minecraft with zero hostile mobs, so I think I'd be good. Just fly around and build my world. ✌🏻

[–] Hack3900@lemy.lol 2 points 9 hours ago

Minecraft too, survival but if I can continue my world I'm basically immortal

Starting from scratch I'm a little scared but nothing good ol strip mines can't fix

[–] jrubal1462@mander.xyz 4 points 14 hours ago

A helldiver. It'll be exciting, but that means I have a life expectancy of roughly 20 minutes on average.... With my skill set it'll be closer to 30 seconds.

[–] Furbag@pawb.social 4 points 14 hours ago

Haha, I'm playing through Mina the Hollower. I get to be a cute mouse girl, but live in a terrifying world full of monsters. Sorry Lionel, I changed my mind about repairing the spark generators. I'm just going to stay in town and hang out, if ya don't mind.

[–] PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago

Quake 4, so I'm Corporal Matthew Kane. Hopefully, post stroggification? Half human, half machine.

[–] Randelung@lemmy.world 2 points 11 hours ago

Danganronpa v3. Luckily already chapter 3.

[–] Aeder@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago

I guess I'm a young woman now, if we go by the art of Metal Bringer.

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