Clamp your hams
this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2026
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Dad Jokes
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The last few posts like this that have been made, the comments were filled with people who didn't get it. I'm getting ahead of that 😤
How dare you help provide context instead of mocking people who don't get it. This is the internet, non-gender-specific-sir.
Just not a good one.
Barely
crank ur hog
I CRANKED MY HOG MULTIPLE TIMES TODAY BROTHER, BUT I STILL GOT MORE! ARRROOO
I TRIED TO DO WHAT IT SHOWED IN THE PICTURE BROTHER BUT NOW IM IN THE HOSPITAL WITH A VICE GRIPS LATCHED ONTO MY SWIM SUIT AREA.
AUNT GRETA ISNT GOING TO LIKE THIS ONE
AROOOOOOO
I CAN'T HEAR YOU, BROTHER! AROOOO!!!
AH ROOO
AWOOOOOOGA
squeeze your meat
I tend to do that when I'm sad
Compress your pork
Easy there, this is a family friendly comm.
Vice your gammon…?
And you call them clamped hams despite the fact that they are obviously plated.
tvinga din kassler?
Kan du va själv!
Pinch your polska
Last time someone pinched polska they got bombed by the British
Not because of that.
Not because of that.
If you’ll all excuse me I’m gonna go “clamp my ham” if you get what I’m sayin… winks knowingly
Squeezy your charcuterie
Dick in a vice?
... in a box. In a tote bag, filled with sauce!
DickoTown!
..put your clamped meat loaf slice on a plate with Mediterranean design.
Perfectly rhymed
Clasp your Ham
Screw a ham?
"Clamp your hams" is my guess.
're
Secure your gammon
ハムを治まる?