'Bruh, we literally all came from the poop organisms that survived on space rocks from that one planet that exploded a Brazilian years ago. Why are you being weird?'
this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2026
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"No, they weren't. Though we are somehow distantly related." answers the guy next to you, who, as a side note, was never fun at parties.
Yea, yea. Aliens act like they never went through a funky monkey stage. Up tight pricks.
Every species crawls out of the primordial goo one protrusion at a time, judgmental assholes
But what if they didn't go through a funky money stage. What if they went through a funky starfish phase?
Something something we all get fucked no matter the hole.
Alien: Zorgblorx, set the timejump crystal. We're about a million years too late.
Says the being going all colorful at the table.