Amended by u/Snapz:
Where brain worms?
this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2026
522 points (98.5% liked)
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Suggesting a minor change...
Probably safer to lick the pole on the London tube
Nice to see that they are at least limiting metal by placing it on top. Responsible.
Weird that you completely missed measles though? It's ones of the new staples.
Did lead and microplastics get discontinued? Man, I really enjoyed those!
Don't worry, those will be conveniently provided in your tap water, free of charge.
American court now say now that safe drinking water is not a right. You'll drink whatever liquid comes out of the tap and be happy with it. https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2026/09/drinking-water-mississippi-lawsuit/
...yet! Get ready for Tap Water PLUS™ and Tap Water PREMIUM PLUS ULTRA™, the latest achievement in tap water technology. Now with double the H per O. Starting from $4,99/~~l~~ fl.oz. or whatever freedom unit you guys use these days.
Due to a trade war and actual war with The Lost World of Atlantis, water has been rerouted for military and corporate use and the people of the US will now have to drink their own urine and urine imported from Mexico .
Mexico might cut off their urine exports in the trade war.
Double the H per O
Are you saying standard water or H~4~O?
H⁴O would be impossible, since O can only leach onto 2 electrons at a time (a singe H has 1 free electron). My guess would be H²O + 2H or smth..
Just plain old H20 with a lot of marketing gibberish.
It's the water equivalent of 4K
Lead is metal ya know
And yeah plastics should be there instead of glass
Like I said, I REALLY enjoyed those...
The microplastics are in your balls.
Which category has the cyclospora? I want to lose 5 pounds
Bundle both infectious bacteria together and just say "infectious bacteria". And then add micro plastics. You missed those.
So much winning
Where's the roadkill?
Where's the beans?
Sorry I ate them so they couldn't be put on the pyramid. My bad
Oh hey, they upgraded it to Mystery Beef? Nice. Things are looking up
You're missing the high fructose corn syrup.
Since that orange fuck wants his name on everything, start calling all the things that have gone to shit after him.
Makes me think of Hoovervilles during the great depression.
What no measles?
That was just sloppy.
Everyone knows that meat is only supposed to be bought to fund animal cruelty, not to be eaten. You're supposed to thoroughly throw it out to prevent disease risk
Sorry, there's another layer. Crippling depression.
Why did I read this to the tune of "we didn't start the fire"? so weird. 🎵
flesh eating maggot enriched beef
Now do another country!
🤘🤘🤘