this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Amended by u/Snapz:

top 35 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] WanderWisley@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago

Where brain worms?

[–] varjen@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago
[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 4 points 22 hours ago

Suggesting a minor change...

[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago

Probably safer to lick the pole on the London tube

[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 2 points 22 hours ago

Nice to see that they are at least limiting metal by placing it on top. Responsible.

Weird that you completely missed measles though? It's ones of the new staples.

[–] Soulphite@reddthat.com 57 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Did lead and microplastics get discontinued? Man, I really enjoyed those!

[–] meat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 24 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Don't worry, those will be conveniently provided in your tap water, free of charge.

[–] kreskin@lemmy.world 1 points 8 hours ago

American court now say now that safe drinking water is not a right. You'll drink whatever liquid comes out of the tap and be happy with it. https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2026/09/drinking-water-mississippi-lawsuit/

[–] joulethief@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

...yet! Get ready for Tap Water PLUS™ and Tap Water PREMIUM PLUS ULTRA™, the latest achievement in tap water technology. Now with double the H per O. Starting from $4,99/~~l~~ fl.oz. or whatever freedom unit you guys use these days.

[–] BooBees@fedinsfw.app 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Due to a trade war and actual war with The Lost World of Atlantis, water has been rerouted for military and corporate use and the people of the US will now have to drink their own urine and urine imported from Mexico .

[–] kreskin@lemmy.world 2 points 8 hours ago

Mexico might cut off their urine exports in the trade war.

[–] Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Double the H per O

Are you saying standard water or H~4~O?

[–] burido@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (1 children)

H⁴O would be impossible, since O can only leach onto 2 electrons at a time (a singe H has 1 free electron). My guess would be H²O + 2H or smth..

[–] joulethief@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 8 hours ago

Just plain old H20 with a lot of marketing gibberish.

[–] some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

It's the water equivalent of 4K

[–] EntheoNaut@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Lead is metal ya know

And yeah plastics should be there instead of glass

[–] Soulphite@reddthat.com 4 points 1 day ago

Like I said, I REALLY enjoyed those...

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

The microplastics are in your balls.

[–] lemmygarden@lemmy.today 4 points 1 day ago

Which category has the cyclospora? I want to lose 5 pounds

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Bundle both infectious bacteria together and just say "infectious bacteria". And then add micro plastics. You missed those.

[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 4 points 1 day ago

So much winning

[–] jj4211@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Where's the roadkill?

[–] dbtng@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] usernamesAreTricky@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 day ago

Sorry I ate them so they couldn't be put on the pyramid. My bad

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 2 points 1 day ago

Oh hey, they upgraded it to Mystery Beef? Nice. Things are looking up

[–] TheLowestStone@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

You're missing the high fructose corn syrup.

[–] Marthirial@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Since that orange fuck wants his name on everything, start calling all the things that have gone to shit after him.

[–] rayboy@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Makes me think of Hoovervilles during the great depression.

[–] bitteroldcoot@piefed.social 4 points 1 day ago

What no measles?

That was just sloppy.

[–] usernamesAreTricky@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Everyone knows that meat is only supposed to be bought to fund animal cruelty, not to be eaten. You're supposed to thoroughly throw it out to prevent disease risk

[–] myyass@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Sorry, there's another layer. Crippling depression.

[–] FrowingFostek@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Why did I read this to the tune of "we didn't start the fire"? so weird. 🎵

[–] poseur@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago

flesh eating maggot enriched beef

Now do another country!

[–] Gloomy@mander.xyz 2 points 1 day ago

🤘🤘🤘