this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2026
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LinkedinLunatics

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A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com

(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)

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[–] pjwestin@lemmy.world 12 points 1 hour ago

A) Cool story, bro. B) The fact that they think this lie reflects something significant about their business acumen tells you everything you need to know about corporate culture. Their only metric for competency is the amount meaningless jargon they're able to use throughout the day.

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 22 points 1 hour ago
[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 3 points 56 minutes ago

and then everybody clapped

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 59 minutes ago

This kid sounds like dead weight, if you ask me. Lay him off.

I bet ChatGPT agrees if you prompt it right.

[–] derfunkatron@lemmy.world 17 points 2 hours ago

What a total failure.

I don’t see any reference to the kid’s performance in alignment with APGs. She makes multiple references to clear KPIs while acknowledging his underperformance. Any toddler can mimic their parental units, but without a clear data-driven performance plan, I don’t see a future for him in that family.

There’s clear synergy between her and her spouse, but she admits to deficiencies in multiple KRAs. Delegation and outsourcing are powerful tools but must be specific, measurable, achievable, and relevant.

[–] CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I can’t imagine the spousal relationship that would survive long on corpo speak.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 5 points 3 hours ago

It's designed to allow for difficult conversations while removing the emotion. The only real problem is how impersonal it is.

[–] Red_October@piefed.world 30 points 4 hours ago

Of all the things that never happened, this one never happened the most.

Pretty sad though that this is the story she wants so much to tell.

[–] AceFuzzLord@lemmy.zip 17 points 4 hours ago

Sounds exactly like the sort of thing a very neglectful parent would spout online to save face instead of spending time with their kid. I doubt that person even knows when their kids birthday is, let alone their name half the time.

Though, that's just my take on all that.

[–] DakRalter@thelemmy.club 26 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

This has to be satire, it has to be.

Even an alien trying to blend in with humans wouldn't write like this.

Also, learn how to properly format quotation marks, you silly goose.

[–] protist@retrofed.com 8 points 2 hours ago

I just looked up her LinkedIn profile, and it appears to be 100% not satire

[–] Denjin@feddit.uk 26 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

With only a few tweaks to formatting, this could just as easily be a greentext.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 58 minutes ago

LinkedIn had supplanted 4chan greentexts as the most unhinged freaks on the internet imo

[–] StillAlive@piefed.world 24 points 6 hours ago

Fuck off Isha. He didn't say that.

[–] ImWaitingForRetcons@lemmy.world 41 points 7 hours ago

Honestly… we’re in the worst timeline, and it’s things like this that add up to it.

[–] Aganim@lemmy.world 12 points 5 hours ago

Said child when he's in his 20's:

"I do not recognise myself in this story."

[–] Get_Off_My_WLAN@fedia.io 14 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

If the kid were being sarcastic and making fun of adults, this would be hilarious though.

[–] DakRalter@thelemmy.club 7 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

It's actually pretty funny how kids can pick up on stuff they hear adults say. I have a couple of my own thathappened moments that did actually happen, but they're usually one offs and can be put down to kids just imitating what they hear.
This one though, this is made up.

[–] adhocfungus@midwest.social 1 points 2 hours ago

Yeah, raising a kid is full of moments like this that nobody will believe but will crack you up. My guess is that this lady's kid did this a few times and she extrapolated it into a whole story.

[–] arin@lemmy.world 12 points 7 hours ago

I hope circle back dies

[–] mlatu@moist.catsweat.com 3 points 6 hours ago

the tower of babel i tell you!