this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2026
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Programmer Humor

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[–] MasterOKhan@lemmy.ca 94 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Seems to be a hard working web developer, surely he can pay his rent

[–] smeg@feddit.uk 39 points 5 days ago

Developing the web and catching bugs, sounds like they're earning their keep

No doubt! I should be thankful!

[–] roofuskit@lemmy.world 41 points 5 days ago (1 children)

His pest removal services are worth nothing? You're already bartering.

[–] akunohana@piefed.blahaj.zone 20 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Shoot! I had completely forgotten about that! Well, I'm convinced. They can stay rent free! :D

[–] Phoenix3875@lemmy.world 18 points 5 days ago (2 children)

By avoiding being a capitalist landlord, you have become a feudalist landlord.

[–] roofuskit@lemmy.world 12 points 5 days ago

Except this is entirely on the spider's terms. Land is given but there's no quota, no tax. The spider may come and go as he pleases and only needs to catch enough pests to feed himself.

[–] alt_xa_23@midwest.social 36 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Looks like you found yourself a network debugger

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 18 points 4 days ago

I was going to say web admin but yours is good too.

OKAY. I thought all the funny responses were already exhausted xD <3

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

Came here to say this. Thank you for making my job easier!

[–] zane@infosec.pub 11 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Been thinking of hosting a webcrawler myself.

Sweet! Let me know when your Codeberg page is up. Meanwhile, are you leaning in any particular direction?

[–] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 35 points 5 days ago (2 children)

You've considered a capitalist solution, but have you considered

Restorative justice: the spider is a trespasser, but will likely not find enough prey to survive. Capture the spider and relocate it to a suitable habitat where it can thrive. Check on it occasionally to ensure it is doing well

Libertarian anarchism: leave it be. It will die, survive, or thrive on its own terms

Authoritarianism: tell the spider if it doesn't remove itself it will be arrested, start ordering it to get on the ground, fire 13 rounds at it, preferably missing all shots but hitting a nearby toddler. Institute martial law against the "foreign threat", citing the recent death of a toddler

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 14 points 5 days ago (2 children)

House spiders generally don’t survive outdoors. They’re cave-dwelling species and they seek out indoor spaces by instinct.

[–] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 12 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

This is a very good point. In rebuttal

A. I did say "a suitable habitat"

B. I was very clearly shitposting

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Sure, though my comment wasn’t strictly a rebuttal to yours. It was as much an FYI to anyone who stumbled across our comments and has relocated spiders outside out of a desire to save them.

[–] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I'm glad you posted your original comment. I tend to be pretty tongue-in-cheek, both online and IRL. Sorry if it comes off as abrasive, in my mind it's all in good fun. Love you and hope you have a fantastic day <3

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago (3 children)

No worries! People can be both amused and informed!

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SirSamuel, you enlightened bastard! You don't know how much I needed this laugh.

Also, I decided to go the pre-Marxist socialist route: the spider is allowed to stay and to contribute according to its abilities and shall be compensated according to its contributions in the pest elimination field.

[–] MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works 20 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

It gets to keep 25% of the bugs he catches. You get to eat the other 75%.

Any changes to the web will void it's deposit and you get to eat 500 of it's bugs to repair any damage.

Utilities are not included. There will be a 5 bug charge for each droplet of water it drinks from the faucet. Even though it lives near WiFi, there is a hookup fee and monthly cost of 25 bugs.

If it is late on monthly bug payments for more that 1-week. You get to eat it's web and all the bugs. The spider will be taken outside on a paper towel or in a cup and left on the nearest leaf.

Implement those and you'll eat like a king!

I died xD

But...

I'm affraid he'll try to circumvent my espionage with some spidey encryption... No idea how to counter that. :/

[–] Digit@lemmy.today 24 points 5 days ago (1 children)

impose rent?

but...

it's already working for you, setting up traps for flies.

bloody capitalists... always short-sightedly, myopically, trying to maximise wealth extraction.

[–] ExtremeDullard@piefed.social 19 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Threaten it to call immigration if it doesn't pay up.

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[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 11 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Its already a work in place of rent situation. I have tenants with similar contract in my kitchen window, my shower ceiling, the storage/work room window, and the one that doesn't follow the rules in the front entrance arch who is likely to be evicted.

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[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 6 points 4 days ago (2 children)

First, do you have access to a spider sized pen that it could use to sing a contract?

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[–] Malica@lemmy.zip 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I just love that you call it a network rack

πŸ˜…

It also goes under

  • Rashōmon (ancient gateway in Japan, when I talk to it)
  • it's complicated (when troubleshooting/talking to my ISP)
[–] pupbiru@aussie.zone 10 points 4 days ago (5 children)

rent? it’s keeping your house pest free… you owe it money

(also obligatory that’s not a spider THIS is a spider from australia)

[–] palordrolap@fedia.io 4 points 4 days ago

The problem with the implicit size comparison in the Crocodile Dundee reference is that Australian spider size is inversely proportional to their actual danger.

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[–] measureyoucanpleasure@piefed.social 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)
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[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Keeping the computer bugs at bay

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[–] PixeIOrange@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

You should write a tiny letter

[–] NerdsGonnaNerd@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

You could collect the spider silk and weave a cape. Golden Spider Silk Cape

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[–] Monument@piefed.world 8 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

She’s just trying to crawl the web!

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[–] ScarlettStunningSpace@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Me too. I have no earthly idea on how it "blew up" like this. 🀣🩷

[–] Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

What do you mean? It is already working hard to get rid of all the flies in there.

You sound more like a capitalist CEO. Are you going to take its healthcare away as well?

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[–] blinfabian@feddit.nl 6 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

am i crazy or is there no spider in this photo??

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[–] TWeaK@lemmy.today 6 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

They're already working hard ensuring your local network web is free from bugs.

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[–] eta@feddit.org 6 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Similar to "bug" you can establish "spider" as a new computer term for things that infest a running system. Then you do conference talks, write books about it and keep all the earnings you get from doing that. The spider can't sue you for a share of that if it doesn't also pay you rent.

[–] anton@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 5 days ago

A spider is something you release into your system to catch bugs.
For a small fee of 1000$/h I will tell your company how.

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[–] _chris@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Spider notwithstanding, looks like you’ve made an excellent partial faraday cage for your WiFi πŸ˜‚

[–] akunohana@piefed.blahaj.zone 6 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Well, the wavelength of 5GHz is ~~5~~ 6 cm. The smaller gaps between the bars on the individual "shelves" are 2.6 cm and the bigger gaps are 14 cm. While the smaller gaps could disrupt the waves, the bigger gaps, at which the antennas are pointed, do not.

Mf3IIX6lJlhwHNn.jpg

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