this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] switcheroo@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

I'm not sleeping with stupid. I don't care what they look like. Gross. Such a turnoff.

[–] Dreamcatcher@lemmy.zip -2 points 24 minutes ago (2 children)

Calling stupid people gross seems kind of ableist.

[–] krashmo@lemmy.world 2 points 17 minutes ago

This just in: insults are insulting

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 1 points 5 minutes ago* (last edited 4 minutes ago)

Intellect is absolutely a worthwhile trait in a breeding partner. It should be sexy to be smart.

Also there's a difference between being handicapped and being stupid. Stupid is a choice. More of a choice than even being obese.

[–] Wirlocke@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 2 hours ago (2 children)

I was shaking my head at the Helen Keller - Amelia Earhart confusion until I double checked something.

I was getting Helen Keller confused with Anne Frank...

[–] maturelemontree@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 hour ago

There's no way that Anne Frank learned how to read.

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago) (1 children)

Amelia Earhart

Wasn't she that maid that took things way too literally? ;)

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

You're thinking of Amelia Bedelia.

Amelia Earhart was Paul Simon's girlfriend. He wrote a song about her leaving, then coming back to him.

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 1 points 14 minutes ago

That was Cecelia. Pretty sure Amelia Earhart was King Lear's daughter.

[–] B1tch_Pudding@lemmy.zip 106 points 4 hours ago (4 children)

I thought this was somebody's type

[–] Malica@lemmy.zip 2 points 36 minutes ago

Rescuing the gene pool, one moron at a time

[–] bumblefumble@feddit.dk 8 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

To be fair to the last comment: The Pink Panther could be either a leopard or a jaguar, it isn't clear which one.

[–] zaph@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 hour ago

Technically the pink panther could also be a diamond

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 39 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (3 children)

This is somewhat similar to my raw attraction to toxic, dangerous women. I once had a woman casually say mid-blowjob, "I could totally bite your cock off right now." I giggled like Ralph Wiggum and then we had mind blowing sex.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 8 points 3 hours ago

I need a legit survey of women who haven't thought about this at least once.

I'm convinced it's half the appeal of oral sex. "I could be your last with a chomp and a twist, but you're too horny to care".

[–] disorderly@lemmy.world 31 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

If you ever wrote a book I'd leave it on my coffee table as a conversation piece.

[–] TipRing@lemmy.world 19 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (4 children)

I had a friend like you once, if he was into a woman there was guaranteed something dreadfully wrong with her. Like this was an actual conversation:

Friend (excited): I just started seeing her, she's amazing! The best thing that's ever happened to me!

Me: Dude, the last two girlfriends you said that about ended up in jail.

Friend: No it's different this time, she's cool! She's a gamer, we like the same music, she's super chill.

Me: Ok dude, I'm happy for you.

Two weeks later

Me: Dude, you ok? You look pretty down.

Friend: My girlfriend likes to get into throw down drunken brawls with strangers every weekend.

But this friend was also a weirdness magnet in general.

[–] Malica@lemmy.zip 1 points 34 minutes ago

Fight club crazy counts as crazy good in bed

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

I don't think I've ever dated anyone violent, with myself or others, thank god. They usually just want me to piss inside them and stuff.

[–] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 5 points 3 hours ago

Just stay away from the nose and ears and you're golden.

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[–] urthoughtsrbad@lemmy.zip 25 points 4 hours ago (4 children)

Hopefully all these people can find eachother! Romantically walk off into the sun.

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[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 21 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

*Hard out there for a man.

The author is John Paul Brammer, from his piece "The Most Unlovable Man in New York City."

Archived copy of source, because fuck giving that nazi bar Substack any clicks.

[–] OhNoMoreLemmy@lemmy.ml 38 points 4 hours ago

Wait, she slept with Helen Keller and Amelia Earhart?

Nice.

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 hours ago

This doesn't really seem like a gender thing, I've slept with my share of dumb women.

[–] snooggums@piefed.world 34 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

I cracked up at the novella one because the guy was probably thinking of a telenovela.

[–] mittyta@lemmy.world 16 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I think he think of just novela which is novel in Spanish. So that guy was right, actually. But she is good on words, anyway.

Tap for spoilerOr I am stupid
I

[–] snooggums@piefed.world 9 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

She said novella which is just a short novel.

[–] mittyta@lemmy.world 11 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah, but assuming conversation was audible, she can't be sure.

[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 hours ago

You mean he couldn't just read the speech bubble?

[–] Hazel@piefed.blahaj.zone 18 points 4 hours ago

I slept with both of them. I've been on a lot of dates.

Doesn't sound like she's doing all that bad with men 🤔

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 27 points 5 hours ago (8 children)

There actually was a stunt where they let Helen Keller ‘fly’ a plane (hold the stick while they were already in the air with the pilots monitoring).

The conspiracy that she wasn’t actually blind or deaf is frustratingly common among people under 30, who I assume have all picked it up from TikTok.

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[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 24 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Amelia Earhart is the sister of the NASCAR driver, right?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 22 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Dale Earnhardt was lost in the Bermuda Triangle.

[–] tpihkal@lemmy.world 14 points 4 hours ago (3 children)

After hitting an iceberg he was left floating in the frigid water, never to be seen again, if I remember correctly.

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[–] Glowstick@lemmy.world 15 points 4 hours ago (5 children)

I don't think the novella one is that bad

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If my wife had said something like this on our first date I'd have married her sooner.

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