Political Memes

Daryl Davis, yes his story was a big one, they slightly exaggerated just how effective he was but that's okay. (Not everyone he befriended actually changed, humans have this weird world we can live in where we can hold contradictory ideas like, being a KKK member while having a black friend, that takes extra levels of involvement to try to change.)

For me, I mostly have flipped incels and their ilk, which come in many colors and backgrounds but the left has largely written off young men and boys in this situation because part of their schtick is to be as toxic and repulsive as possible as a way to validate and "prove" they don't deserve love or good things in their life. They're probably easier to flip than older, set in klansmen who have lived entire lives under one narrative, but the point remains - changing people is not some jedi skill that only "powerful, trained minds" can do, anyone can do it.

I would fully expect to get a lot of "I ain't reading all that" replies. As is normal nowadays.

It might vary wildly depending on who it is, but you might be surprised. See, you're already thinking it's going to be "an approach with an intention to being accepted" and that's a mistake.

I grew up conservative in a deeply conservative part of the land, surrounded by all types of the breed, and I taught self-defense for about 17 years to families, so I would love to pass on some of my own perspectives that may help you or someone you care about at some point.

I would never push someone to confront a stranger even though I often advocate for a much stronger hand against fascism and racism, especially if you're already part of a targeted group for hate, but if you ever do find yourself in a situation where you're sharing a bus or a jury box with someone with a red hat and a punisher tattoo, the KEY thing you can do is make them let down their guard. Be funny, friendly, break the tension with something self-referential. See, a lot of people don't get just extremely simple and stupid the motivations are of the average right-wing transphobe/racist. I don't mean the smaller set of ideological monsters who have nazi compounds, but maybe the average Joe who works construction and lives in the city and has kids and all the same basic axioms as any of us but a deeply narrow worldview.

For a lot of the people like them, their introduction to bigotry almost invariably starts with jokes and making fun of something they "don't understand" and this joking is performative to signal to their friends that they're not connected to that strange, weird, outsider THING. They then grow up with this deep hangup about "THING" because they had to hold frame, and are also now afraid that they might say the wrong thing about "THING" in front of their peers, or someone might mistake them for being friendly to "THING" themselves, it's a stew of feelings.

All of this is to say, in a one-on-one situation, they are very likely more scared of you than you are of them. You are THING. And if you've ever had a dog, you know that fear often expresses itself as barking and yapping. And just like with a dog, it's more productive to calm them down than yell back.

Make very friendly small talk, if you express yourself with unique clothing or are wearing something untraditional, make a joke about it, "Don't worry, it won't bite" kind of thing, or just say hi if they're staring at you. Don't say anything that could be interpreted as assuming they're racist or bigoted at all, unless you can feel right away there's a discomfort you can identify. Being friendly and even parental in tone and asking friendly questions, showing curiosity and warmth even if they're cold or bitter. Don't be persistent, don't give their fear anything to latch onto.

And more often than not, something magic happens and you change their entire world, either right then and there they might try asking you sarcastic-sounding questions or talking about their own life so you understand them. You might be the first time they've ever met a black, trans person. Think about how formative that experience will be in their mind well after you meet.

I don't know if there's a name for it, but I've seen it, and I'm not the only one to learn how effective this can be. Just don't get discouraged if it doesn't always work. Just know that the internet and social media and television has radically skewed just how scared of each other we should be. And never shows us how to actually make it better.

This is all in very stark contrast to when you meet them in groups while facing counter-protestors in the street or something. Learn some martial arts and get some mean fucking boots so you can kick their goddamn teeth in.