I've had a conservative say essentially that to me but with a straight face. He was also convinced that white, cishet meat eater men are the most oppressed minority (literally what he said).
Parodying conservative opinions is completely impossible nowadays; any quip anybody can come up with will be an actual conservative opinion, pretty much no matter how ridiculously stupid it is.
Don't forget trying to kill e2e encryption like what the EU wants to do, both to "catch criminals" and "protect the children"
https://www.theparliamentmagazine.eu/news/article/the-end-of-encryption-as-we-know-it