this post was submitted on 14 Mar 2026
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Your comment on funerals reminds me of my mother yelling at me for crying over my grandpa's death (the first death I experienced as an adult/college student). She told me "Why are you so upset‽ You've been to church more recently than I have!"
Anyways, that thought lives rent-free in my head, even though I no longer speak with my mother.
(mini rant: she gave me exactly as much space to feel my feelings when my own dad died more recently. Yes, she sucks.)
My grandma's funeral was not a sad occasion. She'd lived a long life and died very demented, so there was a bit of sadness, but mostly those feelings had been dealt with over the years as her mind changed. The primary feeling seemed to be relief. The sermon was very "we're not burying her, we're planting her, rejoice for she will be reborn" and I wanted to throttle the preacher because he said nothing specific to my grandma, it was very generic. My main feeling at the funeral was stress from navigating the disfunctional relationships of family members I hardly knew.