this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2026
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Maybe it's not all men and using such generic language is akin to saying, "maybe the gays should stop being so flamboiyant if they want acceptance"?
Nice dog whistle.
Where did I say “all men?” Is it not entirely possible that these are all issues caused explicitly by men while there is also a conscious awareness from other men who are aware of and trying to address the issue? Men are the issue, or more accurately the concept of obligate masculinity is, but guess what demographic is enforcing that mindset?
Hint: not women, and if you think it is then you don’t listen to women nor men.
Women police the patriarchy plenty.
My experience from square straight married life is that women want men in general to be gentle and kind and whatnot, but they want their own husband to be capable of violence.
At least that was my wife, there were aspects of toxic masculinity that she absolutely encouraged.
Like, one time I got on a busy train with her and another guy got scared of me and left his seat. She sat down and smiled and patted my hand and said "that's respect right there baby"
And I totally understand the desire to have sex with a big strong not too bright dominant guy, trust me I get it.
It's not just SOs, mothers often play a huge part in conditioning men for the patriarchy, calling them little soldiers, telling them not to cry, to fight back at the bully at school, etc.
So, because women also have the ability to subjectively be shitty people and internalize misogyny that means no men are to blame for the outlined issues?
Don’t date or marry shitty toxic people.
Not a dog whistle. I'm most likely more progressive than you, but you keep trying to feel superior to others! That's definitely not a part of the problem!
Do… do you not see the irony in what you just wrote? Read it back to yourself.
Oh I know it. Irony or not, I know what I'm talking about and you're yapping like a reactionary fool.
Sure.
Thats not a dog whistle
I see you’re having a great time with this post.
I mean, I am, but, that wasn't a dog whistle.
It was, though.
How so, because I don't think you're operating with the correct definition
“Not all men” is a misogynist dog whistle. Point blank.
Literally false
It’s not, though.
You're wrong
That would imply it's the gay community itself that is not accepting flamboyant gays.....
The gay community is not uniformly homogeneous. There are plenty of gay men who aren’t big fans of flamboyant queer culture.
"Aren't big fans" is not the same as being bigoted, or discriminating against....
Do think there are some Lincoln Republic gays out their thinking Tommy is going to hell, not because he's queer, but because he sashays too hard?
Have you ever talked to gay men?
Unironically my best friend is a lesbian. She makes fun of flamboyant men or exceptionally butchy women but its not in a genuinely hateful way. She and her wife use terminology I've never dreamed of to describe other queer folk too. A "Hey mama" is my favorite recent one, pretty sure it means an attention seeking lesbian. So I kinda see what you're both saying. Dude saying some gay people HATE flamboyant gay men is less correct though. I played the "I have a gay friend" card it was super effective. Thats three non trolling responses so far.
Yes? I'm even friends with several queer people.....shocking as that may be.
I even know a few conservative leaning gay dudes, our gay district has a gaybar specifically for cowboys. Even they don't hate or discriminate against flamboyant gay men. They might not seek their company or want anything to do with that particular scene, but they are still neighborly.
Homeboy played the "I have gay friends" card, it was super effective.
Shhhh they wanna use a big paint brush, it supports their argument