this post was submitted on 04 May 2026
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Boss: “You say this email was written by you despite the fact it obviously contains em dashes.”
Seymour: I just learned about them -- they're fantastic!
Boss: It's addressed, "Dear Super Nintendo Chalmers".
Seymour: ...I uh...well...you see, that...excuse me.
[Seymour goes into office as smoke billows outwards. Then immediately returns.]
Seymour: Well that was a beautiful business meeting. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
Chalmers: Yes, I really should be go-GOOD LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE!?
Seymour: Norman Rockwell painting another one of his pieces of classic Americana.
Chalmers: Norman Rockwell?! Deceased famed illustrator Norman Rockwell? Painting poorly articulated nineteen fingered hands!? Portrayed in nonsensical spacial perspective!? With seventeen different light sources coming from impossible angles!?
Seymour: Yes.
Chalmers: May I see him?
Seymour: ..No.
Agnes: Seymour! Midjourney is generating AI images again!
Seymour: No mother, that's just a famous illustrator creating his masterpieces.
Charmers: Well Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say, you write a professional sounding email.
[As the emails to Tech Support go unanswered, the children continue to use unfiltered school internet -- purchasing NFT's and asking Grok unadulterated questions...]
