this post was submitted on 05 May 2026
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innit?
Fucking delicacy.
We Americans have to put up with a lot of justifiable criticism about a lot of American things, but my English dudes, THIS? Even Americans know better.
Ok so this is a shit photo, but seriously, go make it. Beans on toast is easy and brilliant.
Also, What's going on with those beans? Heinz those are not!
heinz beans? what? just make some godsdamn bbq beans. go look up a recipe. hell, just go look up pioneer woman's doctored canned beans if you need lazy beans, those are pretty damn good too just full of sugar.
I certainly would encourage anyone to cook it they have the time but the point of beans on toast, is it's quick and easy. And Heinz is the best choice though an own brand is usually fine.
no, your tastes differ from mine so we must fight on the internet i prefer bush's beans. i don't think i've given heinz beans a fair shake though so like my opinion is pretty uninformed,
i usually just throw my own recipe on the smoker. if i'm not doing straight up chili, i'll cook some beans up most of the way smooth but not entirely smooth (the smoothest hummus of your life is 45 minutes in the electric pressure cooker. i do 20 with bbq beans), make some quick gravy (mix my favorite BBQ sauces with a few spices but not too many as the meat's rub contributes a lot, come to think of it i usually just use extra rub and bbq sauce and a can of tomato sauce) then throw it all on the smoker in a disposable foil tin with some sauteed onions and peppers underneath the meat to catch all the drippin's and the rub that comes off the meat with it. after 2-3 hours the beans are done, stir it once an hour maybe if you want, put another foil pan underneath to protect from burning, and let it sit in with the meat until it's done. top it up with tomato sauce, water, broth, wine, beer, rum, whiskey, or bbq sauce (whatever floats your fancy) if the liquid runs low, taste it before serving and adjust the spices. it'll take a few attempts to get your recipe to where you want it and to figure out which sauces and rubs and spices you want to use, but it's worth the experimentation and you get to eat the results. also they keep forever in the fridge/freezer
Sure, but I can grab a can of beans and some bread on the way home then cook and eat them in all of 20 minutes. They're not something you make because you enjoy cooking, they're just cheap, quick, easy, and filling.
why do lazy foods have to be devoid of love
They don't have to be devoid of love, you can put as much cheese as you want on.
Beans are a staple side dish of BBQ, one of my very favorite foods, and it is often served with white bread, so we understand what it is. There's just no reason to put the two together.
Besides, I know that with that first bite, a generous glob of beans is going to drool down the front of my shirt, and piss me off.
some foods need bibs (or eatin' shirts) and that's okay.
i can't remember what it was we were eating, but i smoked something good (it was our first time using cherry, and i was hungry). probably SLC ribs. i warned my wife she might want to move down the table a little bit because there was going to be a splash zone this meal (i had just dripped a big drop of food onto my lap, rolling all along my shirt, as was foretold by prophecy). her response was to dip her finger into her bbq sauce bowl and then flick it at me :3
I have an unknown eating disorder, in which it seems impossible to eat anything without dripping it on my shirt. I suspect a lot of others have this disorder as well. It's a secret American tragedy, hidden in shame.
I actually keep a hand towel in my car (I've got dozens of them for my job) and I take it in when I'm eating at Chipotle or something. It embarrasses the shit out of my son, but I always point out that I'd rather look dumb for an hour in a restaurant, than have to look stupid everywhere I go, because I'm wearing my lunch on my shirt.
When we finish, I always show him my "bib," so I can demonstrate all the drips that would have been on my shirt. He thinks I'm pathetic, but that's normal.
so i've had a "benign tremor" my entire life so i just wear patterns that make the spills hard to notice. hawaiian shirts, stuff like that. i have a couple shirts that repel water and food stains and shit. i have to leave for an appointment but i'll get you the fabric blend.
one is 65 cotton 33 poly 3 spandex, two are 58 cotton 42 poly. if i spill food on these (and my family very literally has an urban legend about my mom eating a chili dog that has spread around the western US and part of el caribe, this is an heritable trait) it wipes right off, no stain. normally I'm a natural fibers, natural, breathable fabrics dude but when there's a specific use case like yours (or mine i guess) it's worth it to have a few microplastic-shedding shirts that keep us tidy.
Knife and fork my dude. I tried it once and it was a fucking disaster. Beans everywhere.
If I was a wild hound born on an Indian trash heap, sure!
But have you ever actually eaten it? I'm going to say no because you wouldn't be throwing shade otherwise.
It looks exactly like most Indian food, brown goo is nice.
I have eaten it. I ordered it, ate it and I was like "idk what I was expecting" because it was literally just beans on toast.
IMO it's pretty mid but if you like it keep enjoying it.
It's baked beans from a can, right?
NO! It's not just baked beans from a can, you heathen!
It's on toast.
I hate canned toast.
I'm willing to try it. They did fish and chips right. I'm a white dude of mostly Scottish decent. It's probably right up my alley.
Fish and Chips is one of the great culinary masterpieces, and so perfectly, elegantly simple, like Italian Red Sauce. I'll give the Brits full credit on that one.
Except it's a Spanish dish from Sephardic Jews . . .
Meaning your great-great-grandfather looked at Scotland at some point in his life. I will never understand the American intense desire to be something other than what they are. You're American and that's fine for the most part You're not anything else. Culture is culture, if you don't brought up in it you're not part of it.
You just used, "No true Scotsman.." in its original usage.
My parents took a DNA test and that's what it said, so I didn't mean to offend you.
I hope whatever is upsetting you so much passes, amigo. Chill out. No one cares.
I believe so. People seem to love Heinz beans in sauce
Thats a poor representation but honestly its a fucking delicacy when done right.
yeah. i want some beans on toast now. with a good strip of bacon on the side. and the good toast, not that shit potato bread whats been in the freezer. fuck me in the ribhole with a kneephallus i could really go for one of those good beans on toasts.
England has shown itself completely incapable of self-governance.
For its own good, it should be occupied by Ireland (for historic reasons) and Mexico (to stop their ongoing abuse of beans).
I think even England would agree
As a Scot and fellow Celt I say have at it.
I wasn't aware Mexico were considered the authority on beans. But yeah fine. As long as I can still enjoy beans on toast I dont have a problem.
Mijo, they will teach you that you don't have to live like that - you can have beans so good they don't need bread on them, or served in a tortilla with cheese and salsa.
Somewhere, many years back, I read that an alternative to British beans on toast is spaghetti-os on toast. I have no idea if this is true, but I have to say: it has always sounded delicious, but I've never bothered to try and make it.
The bread and pasta is redundant. That’s fucking gross, and you should know that.
I don't know, loading up some spaghetti on a piece of garlic bread is pretty delicious
Same reason that the chip butty is a crime against all that is holy
Redundant carbs is the cornerstone of British working class food culture. The pinnacle of this practice is the legendary glaswegian macaroni pie on a roll.
Is that a macaroni sandwich?
Yes in a way, but so much more! A macaroni pie is macaroni cheese filling in a pastry case (usually a single serving size that fits comfortably in a hand). Pie and roll is a delightfully Scottish way of eating a pie. You get a pie, and a buttered bread roll, and you put the pie in the roll, maybe with a bit of sauce (we enjoy red sauce and brown sauce in Scotland), and let nature take it's course.
I've never been so glad my ancestors left Glasgow till hearing this. You poor bastards.
Yeah it's the bread and pasta combo that's gross, not the Spaghetti-Os, or that horrifying "sauce."
Spaghetti with a side of Garlic Texas Toast is fucking amazing.
Spaghetti sandwich on garlic bread is good.
I thought I invented that while high!
What the fuck is that??? Gimme some!
I've done both. The beans add that extra texture goodness.