this post was submitted on 14 May 2026
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I'm with you on that one. I'm still grappling with attempting to be their good son but also trying to accept myself for who I am right now.
Good luck, my Fedifriend. Take things one step at a time. You aren't alone.
There is this saying that is misinterpreted.
People saying this mean to say that family bonds are more important than friendships.
But it's incomplete. The full expression:
Meaning blood bonds, friendships, are stronger than family connections, the water from the womb.
I have a brother who votes for a conspiracy right wing party. My mother keeps spreading racist slurs and follows right wing populists and media. My father is more like me, but is afraid to get into conflict so he always takes my mother's side.
I told them, after countless chances, I'm done with them. I broke off all contact, with a long explanation without convictions, attacks, blaming or what so ever. Just explaining I feel hurt by how I feel treated and I feel helpless as any form of conversation ends in full scale attacks onto me, blaming me for everything, calling me a child in its puberty (I'm 39) who never takes responsibility (while I always take full responsibility for my actions, while they have never done so).
I'm happy with my group of honest and deep friendships. I don't need my family. They wrote me out of their will. I don't care. I don't need anything from them anymore. I'm surrounded by amazing and loving people, while they are going to die sad and alone.
The version of the expression I've heard is
As not one of "the golden children" sometimes it's best to just focus on your (or you own families) happiness.