this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2026
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I feel like there is a similar but opposite bias to survivorship in the reporting of relationships in general: you only hear about the bad ones.
My friends are all freaks and geeks, much like myself, but even in our group those that are in relationships at all have been in them long term and are at least seemingly happy with them. This seems like the usual case in the general population too - bad cases become gossip (or news if the people are famous), but most of the stable cases don't make a big deal about it.
national divorce rates are not low
and how many people want out but can’t for various reasons
what numbers we do have point to more being unhappy than not
Here.
Numbers are indeed very high, but none of them reach 50%. And you're right that general unhappiness while remaining married is hard to measure, but even that "gray divorce" rate (when the kids are not as big a factor) isn't so high, which I think would be an indication.
Also, that's only marriage. Lots of people are in stable LTRs (usually not their first, but that doesn't mean much if they are in one now.)