this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2026
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Disagree. It's just overused and poorly handled. If the story addresses the reasons why the child is neglected such as the father desperately trying to save his son or the future then it can make a good tragedy. Or, if the father was lost in his own work and probably shouldn't have had his child but that work consumed him then it can be fine as long as it's not framed as a good thing or that the child must forgive him for seemingly no reason.
The problem is media that screws this trope up and still expects you to forgive the father in the end. Oftentimes writers fail to address why the child couldn't just join as bonding, or the father is not doing something that important, or the father is just straight up a terrible person and then the writers expect you to turn around and forgive him.
Otherwise it's a great way to give the child character a prolific character to chase that they themselves don't know, or create a character torn between two worlds for better and for worse, or create a deadbeat dad character that may or may not be redeemable.
I definitely feel this.
My dad felt distant and uninterested, when I was a kid. It's only with time and experience, as a father myself, that I understand him. He wasn't distant, he was stretched thin, exhausted. He kept the ground under me stable, and the skies above clear. All the while, his foundations were crumbling at the edges and fire rained down on us from above. He was both a shield and a foundation to me, and he never once complained about it. I rarely saw a hint of the strain he was under. I took and took, and complained when he didn't have more.
The foundation he gave me made me stronger. As a father, the ground I can offer is more solid. The skies shielded more, all standing on the foundation he clawed together. My hope is my child doesn't understand this till they approach adulthood either. I just need to give even more of myself into giving them the emotional support they need too. My child takes and takes, and I give happily. I fill their life with love and happiness the best I can, almost irrelevant of the cost to me.
It stretches me thin too, but that's the job I agreed too. I can easily see how other dads can mess it up. Even from a place of love.
Sorry, I might have gotten a bit more emotional than intended.
Damn. I’m not a parent, and didn’t have the same experience with mine, but I felt the weight of your forgiveness reading this. Of your dad. Of yourself.
I suspect you’re a great parent. Just remember to put on your own oxygen mask first. (Maybe not relevant, just a hunch.)
Oh I know to look after myself. You can't fill a cup from an empty pot. My partner sometimes forgets that though.
One plus side of being a parent. I now understand that, even though I was a little selfish shit at times, he loved me and so took the burden happily.
My minion can be demanding too, but it just makes me happy that I can make their world as good as possible. The point they understand the burden they cause, is the point they also give up childhood. I aim to put that off as long as possible. I will keep their sky blue and full of eternal sunshine for as long as I can.
And to clarify, I'm not coddling them. By the time they need to face the world, I'll hopefully have them trained to the point the world will fear their coming!
Wonderful! Sounds like a lucky minion to me lol
It's also that writing complex 3-dimensional characters is hard. It's much simpler to write a straightforward "good guy" or "bad guy" than it is a nuanced character who does some good things and some bad things all connected to core motivations that drive their reasoning.
It's structural. Who is at the top of media organizations? Historically, it's been men, men who work a lot and probably have nannies. They're not interested in story lines that criticize absent fathers without absolution.
Bold of you to assume media executives read scripts. They have interns for that.