this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2026
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[–] hakase@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (4 children)

Women are just as capable of unreasonable demands for mind reading as men are, and something tells me that if the title was "Use your big boy words" you wouldn't have said anything.

[–] revelrous@sopuli.xyz 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

What an interesting and not at all telling crusade you seem invested in.

A complete non sequitur for the audience at large: Does lemmy have a RES equivalent yet to tag users?

[–] hakase@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

It's equally telling that you think I'm the one on a crusade given the literal hundreds of similar comments I see from velma on /c/all all of the time.

Anyways, as for tags, I don't know if it's implemented into the Lemmy website directly, but most third party clients allow it in their settings, and I think there are also browser extensions you can install for it.

Edit: I don't like to go through people's comment histories, but since velma has specifically asked me to do so below, I'll update with a few examples when I can get back to my desktop PC later.

In the meantime, I think anyone else should also feel free to jump in with their own favorite examples.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago

Edit: I don’t like to go through people’s comment histories, but since velma has specifically asked me to do so below, I’ll update with a few examples when I can get back to my desktop PC later.

In the meantime, I think anyone else should also feel free to jump in with their own favorite examples.

By all means. Sort it by controversial if you'd like.

You'll find a lot of comments about Graham Platner that way.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 days ago

the literal hundreds of similar comments I see from velma on /c/all all of the time.

It's really easy to make claims with no evidence, isn't it?

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Oh you edited your comment after I replied, sneaky.

[–] hakase@lemmy.zip 14 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

That wasn't on purpose. For anyone reading this thread who is interested, the original comment was:

"Something tells me that if the title was "Use your big boy words", you wouldn't have commented."

I edited it less than two minutes after posting, realizing that my response could use more context - I had no way of knowing you'd responded that fast.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm so glad you've judged me for a comment I didn't make then.

[–] hakase@lemmy.zip 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

I've seen enough of the comments that you did make to be more than confident of my guess.

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

You have excellent mind-reading skills /s

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works -1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Another edit after I responded.

Don't your comments stand on their own?

[–] hakase@lemmy.zip 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

For anyone interested, the original comment was:

"I've got enough of the comments that you did make to judge you on the ones you don't."

and I edited it for style and readability.

I edit my comments like this all the time and will continue to do so as long as it doesn't change the general meaning/intent. I'm sorry you don't like it, but then again, I don't like all of the misandry in your comments and would much rather you edit it out after the fact, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works -3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Misandry does not exist the same way misogyny does.

I won't be editing this one either.

[–] hakase@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Misogyny being objectively worse than misandry in a wide variety of ways does not excuse you from adding to the misandry that does exist, in this case demonizing OP for a title that clearly wasn't misogynist and which could easily have been based on their lived experience.

We should be lifting each other up, not fighting about who is dragging each other down harder.

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Idk man it seemed kind of misogynist to me. If you make a general unqualified statement based on your lived experience, you are (ambiguously) applying that experience to others based only on their immutable qualities. At least, that would not be an uncommon nor entirely unfounded reading of the statement's intent.

[–] hakase@lemmy.zip -2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Idk man it seemed kind of misogynist to me.

Lol, this couldn't be a more perfect response for you to have made after the last comment of yours that I read.

Link for anyone interested: https://lemmy.world/comment/25127146

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

You have avoided engaging meaningfully with any of my comments and have interpreted them with so many preconceived layers of this conversation that I legitimately do not know what point you are trying to make here.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It's a good question.

In what way is calling out perceived misogyny considered misandry?

[–] hakase@lemmy.zip -1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

My answer is the same: in exactly the same way that calling out perceived misandry can be considered misogyny.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 days ago

Is calling out perceived misandry considered misogyny? Can you give me an example?

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Did I demonize OP by quoting the title?

[–] EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm confused as to why you even bothered quoting the title if you had no meaning behind your quotation.

Sounds very "I'm just asking question here"

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Oh there was meaning behind it. I’m not going to get a fair shake here with hakase accusing me of misandry so virulently from that single comment though.

[–] FreeAZ@sopuli.xyz 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The other day I saw you accuse a man of being a rapist simply because he had a lot of kids. There is no accusing, you are a misandrist. You are more sexist than the majority of things you call out as sexist.

You do not see men as human beings, you see them as the enemy. Ironically you don't see women as human beings either, as even the slightest criticism or mockery of them gets you to calling people misogynists.

I've also seen women call you out on your bullshit, which you would think might get you to do some self reflecting, but I highly doubt you ever will.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago

The other day I saw you accuse a man of being a rapist simply because he had a lot of kids.

The picture of the couple that had 18 children back to back with barely any time for the mother to recover from birth?

Yeah.

[–] hakase@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

The whole "I'm just innocently asking questions" schtick clearly isn't working in this thread. You'll get 'em next time though (as long as you post in womensstuff where nobody will call you out on it, of course!)

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You’ve projected a lot onto a single comment I made quoting the title.

[–] hakase@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Your comments are a very finely polished lens that lends itself well to accurate and detailed projection.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Mhm sure. A person’s social media is a perfect representation of them and you know exactly how I’ll respond to any situation now.

[–] hakase@lemmy.zip 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Please prove me wrong. I mean that sincerely. Please establish such a consistent record of not demonizing men in your comments that I no longer feel as though I can confidently ascribe malice to them.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Quote me.

Pull quotes from my comments that demonize men. And not just some men, but all men. Show me what you mean.

[–] hakase@lemmy.zip -1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

That's moving the goalposts. The entire point of my initial comment in this thread is that you've unfairly demonized OP specifically. Would you like me to find examples of you demonizing individuals in the past for similar imagined transgressions, all of which just happen to point in a single direction?

(Keeping in mind, of course, that you're demonizing them for a single post title when you're so ardently objecting to being misconstrued for "a single comment" here.)

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You claimed that I comment about this topic so frequently that you can ascertain what I meant by my initial comment.

If that’s the truth, it should be easy to pull a few comments to show what you mean.

[–] hakase@lemmy.zip 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That's true - you comment so frequently calling individuals out for imagined misogyny (and, notably, never calling them out for imagined misandry), that it's easy to ascertain what you meant by your original comment.

If you'd like me to find similar examples of you doing the same thing you did in this thread, let me know and I'll do so when I'm on my desktop next - it's too cumbersome to go through your comment history on my phone.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 days ago

it’s too cumbersome to go through your comment history on my phone.

You have made the claim that I have left "literally hundreds" of misandrist comments.

But it's too cumbersome to pull them up. Sure.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works -2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I thought you were avoiding me? Here you are again. Love to see it.

[–] hakase@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Like I very clearly stated in the other thread, I avoid you except for calling out your misandry bullshit, and this comment is more than close enough to qualify.

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

In what way is calling out percieved misogyny considered misandry?

[–] hakase@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

In the same way calling out perceived misandry is considered misogyny, apparently.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

What do you think OP meant by the title?

[–] hakase@lemmy.zip 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That the original OP clearly had a specific person in mind when making the meme.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

laurenceofSuburbia reposts memes from Reddit. They've said so in recent comments as well. This isn't a personal post.

Does telling a specific woman to use their big girl words turn the phrase into something kind or positive?

[–] hakase@lemmy.zip 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It was personal for the person who originally posted it. Would it have been ok for Laurence to post the same meme if it said "big boy pants"?

Also, I've seen the "venting" posts that get posted in womensstuff and elsewhere on Lemmy saying exactly the same sort of thing about men, both specific and in general.

Are they kind or positive? They get hand-waved as "just venting" and "healthy outlets". So, are venting posts ok or are venting posts not ok?

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works -1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You are sealioning and using whataboutism now.

Does telling a specific woman to use their "big girl words" turn the phrase into something kind or positive?

[–] hakase@lemmy.zip 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

And you're intentionally avoiding the question.

I think I've had enough of you purposefully misconstruing and dodging me when I've done my best to be genuine.

I don't think our conversations in the future will be this lengthy - I've finally internalized that nothing I say will make you see the harm you're inflicting.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works -1 points 2 days ago

You can't even show me the supposed harm I'm inflicting on men here.

There's supposedly hundreds of misandrist comments in my post history.

You can't answer me and that's why you're resorting to whataboutisms.