this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 8 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Doctor: Uh So, Timmy, I got your bloodwork in, and I have a couple of questions.

Timmy: Okay.

Doctor: Just about how many hot dogs do you eat a day?

Timmy: How many hot dogs?

Doctor: Yeah.

Timmy: Geez. I don't know. I mean, you know, some days I could eat a couple and some days I don't eat any.

Doctor: Okay. Let's just say for an average. Take your whole week and try to figure out what your daily amount would be.

Timmy: I have no idea.

Doctor: Just try.

Timmy: Okay. A whole week average per day would be something like, I don't know, seven.

Doctor: Seven hot dogs?

Timmy: Seven, yeah.

Doctor: A day?

Timmy: ls that high?

Doctor: It's a little high.

Timmy: ls that bad?

Doctor: Well It's not good.

Timmy: I mean, l'm just ball-parking here, you know?

Doctor: Sure, sure. Timmy, I wanna try something if you don't mind. Walk me through one of your days.

Timmy: Walk you through my day?

Doctor: Yeah, just take me through a day in a life of Timmy.

Timmy: Okay. Well I wake up, and I take a shower. And, you know, get ready for work. I go downstairs and I have a bagel and something for breakfast.

Doctor: And something?

Timmy: A hot dog.

Doctor: Hot dog. Okay.

Timmy: I mean, I do usually eat a hot dog there.

Doctor: Okay.

Timmy: Then I take the train to work.

Doctor: Slow down. Slow down. Does anything happen on the way to work?

Timmy: Oh. Ha ha. I almost forgot. On the way to the subway there is a hotdog stand, so I usually have one or two, yeah.

Doctor: Two hot dogs.

Timmy: Yeah. I usually have two hotdogs before work.

Doctor: So that's three hot dogs before work.

Timmy: Right, yeah. If you're gonna count the one at home. I mean, this is all just breakfast, you know?

Doctor: No, I understand. I get it.

Timmy: Then I just go through my whole day at work.

Doctor: Okay.Hold up. Walk me through your workday. What happens at lunch?

Timmy: Oh, lunch, well I mean, some days I'll just blow through lunch because of how busy I am and all.

Doctor: Really?

Timmy: Well l'm pretty sure I did that once.

Doctor: Okay. Well, on the days that you're not ''blowing through lunch'' what do you have?

Timmy: Well, on those days sometimes it could just be a salad.

Doctor: Could it?

Timmy: Yeah. But it's usually--

Doctor: It's usually hot dogs?

Timmy: Yeah, it's usually hot dogs.

Doctor: How many hot dogs?

Timmy: I don't know. Anywhere between one and four.

Doctor: Four hot dogs.

Timmy: Yeah, that's probably safe.

Doctor: Well, I hope there's no more hot dogs in the day 'cause we're up to seven now.

Timmy: Yeah, on second thought, that number might be a little low.

[–] davetortoise@reddthat.com 5 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

My friend how long did you spend on this

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 4 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Not long. I found the script online. It was a little jumbled and missing the character names. I just added those and cleaned it up a bit.

[–] davetortoise@reddthat.com 3 points 2 hours ago