Thanks comments, I wouldn’t have understood otherwise. I wouldn’t eat a hotdog like this, but I think it’s okay
this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2026
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I don’t understand
You can't abuse the loss leader.
For all of my fellow Chicagoans who, like me, are seeing this with no warning or preparation, I can share support resources, and I’m here if you just need to talk about it.
Edit: for those in need of assistance.
It's fine, that's just blood from their nose because of the head rush from slurping the entire garden up with that courageous bite. Do not correct me, this belief is going to get me through the rest of the day
Wait does Chicago Costco use Vienna beef??
I doubt it. Vienna beef is just The Dog in a Chicago Dog for the most part.
Hey, I'm here for you, too. We're all here for you.
Well, I'm here for you as long as you don't put a drop of fucking ketchup on that dog.
Obligatory wkuk sketch
I think this is how doctors expect me to answer auestions about alcohol and smoking. Ive smoked kne cigarette ever, and a single beer gets me drunk for the night, about once a week. Doctors hear that and think im having 3 hot dogs before i get to work
I love that it starts with 0-2 hotdogs and then escalates to 7 by lunchtime.
"Is that bad?"
"Well, it's not good."
Doctor: Uh So, Timmy, I got your bloodwork in, and I have a couple of questions.
Timmy: Okay.
Doctor: Just about how many hot dogs do you eat a day?
Timmy: How many hot dogs?
Doctor: Yeah.
Timmy: Geez. I don't know. I mean, you know, some days I could eat a couple and some days I don't eat any.
Doctor: Okay. Let's just say for an average. Take your whole week and try to figure out what your daily amount would be.
Timmy: I have no idea.
Doctor: Just try.
Timmy: Okay. A whole week average per day would be something like, I don't know, seven.
Doctor: Seven hot dogs?
Timmy: Seven, yeah.
Doctor: A day?
Timmy: ls that high?
Doctor: It's a little high.
Timmy: ls that bad?
Doctor: Well It's not good.
Timmy: I mean, l'm just ball-parking here, you know?
Doctor: Sure, sure. Timmy, I wanna try something if you don't mind. Walk me through one of your days.
Timmy: Walk you through my day?
Doctor: Yeah, just take me through a day in a life of Timmy.
Timmy: Okay. Well I wake up, and I take a shower. And, you know, get ready for work. I go downstairs and I have a bagel and something for breakfast.
Doctor: And something?
Timmy: A hot dog.
Doctor: Hot dog. Okay.
Timmy: I mean, I do usually eat a hot dog there.
Doctor: Okay.
Timmy: Then I take the train to work.
Doctor: Slow down. Slow down. Does anything happen on the way to work?
Timmy: Oh. Ha ha. I almost forgot. On the way to the subway there is a hotdog stand, so I usually have one or two, yeah.
Doctor: Two hot dogs.
Timmy: Yeah. I usually have two hotdogs before work.
Doctor: So that's three hot dogs before work.
Timmy: Right, yeah. If you're gonna count the one at home. I mean, this is all just breakfast, you know?
Doctor: No, I understand. I get it.
Timmy: Then I just go through my whole day at work.
Doctor: Okay.Hold up. Walk me through your workday. What happens at lunch?
Timmy: Oh, lunch, well I mean, some days I'll just blow through lunch because of how busy I am and all.
Doctor: Really?
Timmy: Well l'm pretty sure I did that once.
Doctor: Okay. Well, on the days that you're not ''blowing through lunch'' what do you have?
Timmy: Well, on those days sometimes it could just be a salad.
Doctor: Could it?
Timmy: Yeah. But it's usually--
Doctor: It's usually hot dogs?
Timmy: Yeah, it's usually hot dogs.
Doctor: How many hot dogs?
Timmy: I don't know. Anywhere between one and four.
Doctor: Four hot dogs.
Timmy: Yeah, that's probably safe.
Doctor: Well, I hope there's no more hot dogs in the day 'cause we're up to seven now.
Timmy: Yeah, on second thought, that number might be a little low.
My friend how long did you spend on this
Not long. I found the script online. It was a little jumbled and missing the character names. I just added those and cleaned it up a bit.
Fair enough
Listen, man. I like to abuse my weiner as much as the next guy, but this is just excessive.
I'm picturing the ketchup smeared all over his face while reading this.
Jesus, I wouldn’t even do this to a terrorist hotdog at a blacksite. Even I have limits.
He watched you bite the dog, and knew it was time.
I like the use of ketchup to maximize the overall outrage levels.
You got off easy, sicko.
This is a severe underreaction. OP should be locked up safely away from society.
Isn't that why they're on Lemmy?
If you can’t throat an entire Costco hot dog wiener in one bite you don’t deserve to eat it.
I had an ex that could/would have done that, on cue, anytime. Their skill was unmatched, their dedication unwavering, their gag reflex nonexistent.
I miss them.
This better not awaken something in me.
Too late.
It's for your own good. JD Vance is on his way to collect the daily dogwater tax, and if he sees what you did you're toast (or whatever makes sense, please and thank you) 🛋️
They expectedly don't serve to barbarians.
Well that's a first time I've ever seen that in a Costco
You’re the reason god invented prisons you degenerate (shudders)
I know the hotdogs at Costco are good, but goddamn.
I dont understand...
They’re eating the hot dog wrong.
I don't see the hot dog going in and out of their asshole so they are not eating it wrong
Do you ride sidesaddle as well?
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