this post was submitted on 01 Oct 2026
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Bitch I'm 36 and here on this Lemmy ish to meet the women who will give birth to my first through sixth wives. I have plans for seven onwards. Illuminati shit, y'know? But what I do for the CIA is I easily discredit myself by shaking a loose vestibule of fecal matter from my pant leg before providing education on any number of fun subjects like how MKULTRA was our initial enlightenment program that went and evolved its memetic ass into Star Gate by adding a larger counterintelligence role to the project and this has since and perpetuatively splintered into the modern Anonymous whatchsmacallit or whatever the kids are rizzing their pants about today, and then I follow that completely true series of facts with a rendition of the arts:
8=====D
I make more money than you doing this. Anyways, have a nice day! I have d-tier sex crimes to go boast about. Toodles!
Narrator:This person, naturally, remained celibate for their entire life.
You don't know my stats, dawg. I rolled sick in luck; my life partner was a virgin when I met him. I mean, he still is a virgin, but he used to be one too!
LOL! This is what the output of a writing prompt, post stroke, looks like!
OMG.. so funny!
I don't have enough seltzer for this shit