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I'm sick and tired of men telling me that rape culture doesn't exist, that rape victims should have done something different, they should have worn something different, they should have not gone out alone, I'm fucking sick of all of it.
We have a problem with misogyny and rape in this country. It doesn't exist in a vacuum on its own.
Trump is merely a symptom of the rot.
Tbh we also have a problem with misogyny on the threadiverse.
Why does this have downvotes? Someone got raped and OP is justifiably mad about the state of things, why do people here feel that's something to take issue with?
We really like to feel progressive and like we're fighting the good fight here, until someone posts a sexist meme and you see what the comment section looks like, and it becomes clear a lot of folks haven't interrogated how they look at women or women's issues even a little bit since leaving reddit
Some of the downvotes are because I am one of the few voices on the fediverse speaking out against those sexist memes and such. There are some people that don't like outspoken women and I have a few stalkers that are very dedicated.
But as you can see from other comments, there is a problem with misogyny here. The kneejerk questioning of rape victims is just one sign of it.
That is unsurprising and also upsetting. That shit makes me sad.
People love to pat themselves on the back for being one of the good guys until they actually have to do work to confront the things they've been taught and have internalized, and engage with the fact that they've allowed themseveled to be comfortable with some shit they shouldn't be.
And its frustrating. I see casual sexism here more often than any other brand of bigotry.
I was reading a comment in a post today that was about becoming a regular at places was how to build community. The comment was from a disabled and moderately attractive (direct quote from the commenter) woman who said she avoided becoming a regular because people felt that they could take advantage of her if they knew her routine.
And it just made me sad. Nobody should have to go through that. Nobody should feel ostracized because they are afraid someone will abuse them.
I had, and for the most part still do, agree that it's generally good to become a regular at a place. But I hadn't thought of it from that woman's perspective before and I respect and understand her decision.
Thank you, genuinely, for understanding her point of view instead of becoming defensive.
You have (at least) a few fans too.
I have a deep respect and appreciation of your posts and commentary. We sure as shit don't have enough people like you.
Agreed! I love seeing velma's posts. She always has something helpful to add to the conversation.
I really appreciate that, TaterTot :3
Hopefully with enough time and stubbornness, more people like us will feel more comfortable here in the Fediverse!
I think you've already had a decent impact on it here. Still a ways to go and all that, but it doesn't feel as entirely focused on men's perspective as it did before you and a handful of other very vocal women got here. That focus on men had me considering leaving for a while, something I no longer am considering.
Well this really made me feel good to read :) It's really cool that you're stickin around
I don't have you tagged since you're quite visible here, but I notice and respect your opinions, even if I don't always completely agree with them. Please keep up the fight, we need more passionate people who are willing to speak their minds.
I'm reminded that there are some cultures where, if people want to reserve a seat in a restaurant or something, they'll leave their purse or wallet there unguarded. And nobody steals it. That's their culture.
So, I think when people claim rape culture doesn't exist, they don't understand what that means. If rape culture didn't exist, then it would make no difference what a woman was wearing or what she was doing. She would be able to feel safe and feel confident that nothing would happen to her. That's so far off of American culture right now that it's not even debatable.
I was listening to an excerpt of Jimmy Carr interview a few days ago in which he was arguing that one of best ways to combat toxic masculinity was to encourage young men to go down to the pub with the lads. That men in groups will keep checks on others within the group.
I respect Carr and his crusade against toxic masculinity, but I am a guy and a lifelong feminist (thanks mom) that grew up in an extremely misogynistic culture. Sure, my friends would have kept me in check, but that's because we were always a mixed gender and sexuality group. Most "lads" crews I knew, once drunk and rowdy, were more likely to gang rape a girl than not if she told them off. Sorry Jimmy, humans are still way to close to close to chimp to be left unchecked.
Something tells me that Jimmy "Riyadh Comedy Festival" Carr doesn't take ethics entirely seriously.
I don't know how feminist I'd consider him. As I recall, he and Stephen Fry both drifted right in their politics over the past decade or so:
Stephen Fry ended up praising Jordan Peterson or some such, Carr started talking anti-woke politics on podcasts after being "cancelled" by a heckler.
From a student news website:
https://thestudentnews.co.uk/2022/03/03/the-charge-of-the-woke-brigade-the-case-against-jimmy-carr/
He tried to defend the Holocaust joke by saying it brings attention to non-jewish victims of the Holocaust which earned him every comedians highest achievement when going anti-woke - being defended by Jeremy Clarkson.
He's afraid of losing his own status. He's a right wing tool.
I think it's much more prevalent than people want to admit.
Otherwise, spontaneous gang rapes wouldn't occur with such frequency. Why are there always so many men that are up for it randomly? What are the odds, yeah? Seriously, that wouldn't be possible if it was a rarity.
They'll rape animals and men, too, because they're rapists. Women and children are smaller, so they are preyed on much more, but if all women disappeared tomorrow, they'd still rape whomever/whatever else they could.
Sure, this could be a political ploy in this case, I know nothing. But the reason such a ploy is believable is because it's so common.
It’s way more prevalent than most men want to admit, that’s for sure.
Women have either been victims themselves or know someone who has been a victim. The rate is close to 1 in 3 women have been raped.
Those men have been "fortunate" in their lives perhaps.
If a man has been homeless or in prison for any length of time, he knows you're right, and perhaps even a little too optimistic.
I'd say half of men are predatory given the opportunity, easily, at least.