this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2026
1043 points (99.2% liked)

196

7026 readers
2702 users here now

Community Rules

You must post before you leave

Be nice. Assume others have good intent (within reason).

Block or ignore posts, comments, and users that irritate you in some way rather than engaging. Report if they are actually breaking community rules.

Use content warnings and/or mark as NSFW when appropriate. Most posts with content warnings likely need to be marked NSFW.

Most 196 posts are memes, shitposts, cute images, or even just recent things that happened, etc. There is no real theme, but try to avoid posts that are very inflammatory, offensive, very low quality, or very "off topic".

Bigotry is not allowed, this includes (but is not limited to): Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Sexism, Abelism, Classism, or discrimination based on things like Ethnicity, Nationality, Language, or Religion.

Avoid shilling for corporations, posting advertisements, or promoting exploitation of workers.

Proselytization, support, or defense of authoritarianism is not welcome. This includes but is not limited to: imperialism, nationalism, genocide denial, ethnic or racial supremacy, fascism, Nazism, Marxism-Leninism, Maoism, etc.

Avoid AI generated content.

Avoid misinformation.

Avoid incomprehensible posts.

No threats or personal attacks.

No spam.

Moderator Guidelines

Moderator Guidelines

  • Don’t be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
  • Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
  • When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM.
  • Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
  • Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
  • Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
  • Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
  • Share everything you do in the mod matrix, both so several mods aren't unknowingly handling the same issues, but also so you can receive feedback on what you intend to do.
  • Don't rush mod actions. If a case doesn't need to be handled right away, consider taking a short break before getting to it. This is to say, cool down and make room for feedback.
  • Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
  • Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
  • Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
  • First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
  • Use neutral statements like “this statement can be considered transphobic” rather than “you are being transphobic”.
  • No large decisions or actions without community input (polls or meta posts f.ex.).
  • Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
  • Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don’t get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] FishFace@piefed.social 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well, I am more convinced about trans identity due to what I understand to be a strong medical consensus on gender dysphoria. As far as I understand there isn't a similar consensus on dysphoria or something akin to it for people who identify as non-binary. So, I could be convinced of that to the same standard - or a higher standard, of course, because as you point out, I can't be certain of anything. At one point I was in a similar position on trans people, but after a while learnt more.

We just have to be convinced that our reality isn’t the only one.

I think even this doesn't quite capture it, for me! Because suppose I were convinced, actually, that non-binary people were just "making it up", whatever that meant. Well, so what? It doesn't affect much, really. It might lead me to hold some positions on practical things - maybe I would be pretty strongly opposed to medical or surgical intervention for nonbinary people, if that were what I thought. But it doesn't mean I hate them, or want them to suffer, or die, or feel ashamed for what they have, in my opinion in this scenario, "made up." You can think someone is wrong - even about their own mind and body - but disagree with them respectfully. Yes, it may make for uncomfortable conversations, or even strong disagreements over treatments, but that's still a far cry from hatred, for which there is no need and little excuse*

So even though I think it doesn't capture it, we end up agreeing in the conclusion, I think!

*Indoctrination is some partial excuse, but not total by any means.

[–] edible_funk@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago

Dysphoria isn't necessary for one's gender identity and expression to mismatch their sex, but it is a common experience. Gender expression itself is primarily a cultural social construct but that's a whole other subject.